A beautiful existence; the perfect manipulation.

A new year;

2011-03-24T03:57:00.000-07:00

Yeah, dudes, I get it. It's been a year and 12 days. I don't really post here anymore, for a while I just gave up on blogging altogether, but recently I've been going nuts on tumblr. Does that count?

My gosh, a year. What the hell have I been doing?! -___-
OHMYGOD. I'm job hunting. It's a terrible experience D:
SO MUCH PRESSUREEEEE. And then there's the waiting. The endless waiting for something that sometimes you just don't even get (a phone call saying successful or not). It makes me so much more appreciative of the people who actually do contact you, even if they are only saying that you were unsuccessful or something. *sigh* It makes me kick myself :/ Last year in August I had an interview for a new job and everything at my favourite clothing store, but I was going away on holiday the next day so I couldn't do it D: Now I'm just wishing that I had gone to the interview instead. Trust me, the holiday was shit and in the end I wish I had gone to the interview instead. But oh well, it can't be helped now.

ANYWAY. A lot of telco places are hiring in my area at the moment. But so far no luck. I'm so sick of the "experience required" thing that they keep putting. Stupid going straight into banking. *le sigh*

I'll find a job eventually, and I know I'm not alone in this plight, but I'd prefer a new job to go to before certain events happen. So y'know, fingers crossed!!

Paul and I are still together, it will be 2 years this June :) So exciting! :D

I'm gonna go now, 'cause I'm watching Full Moon o Sagashite again >:3

See ya later bishies! x

A new day has come;

2010-03-12T21:58:00.000-08:00

What is the point of 'stuff'? I mean, why do people (especially those of the female genre) feel such a burning desire to use all their hard-earned cash to buy things that are essentially meaningless? Think about it, you can't take these things with you in the end, and to be perfectly honest once the initial love for that object has worn off, do you ever even look at that thing again? Sure there are cases where you just forget about things for a long period of time, but always end up coming back to them because you remember how fun it was, but that too is fleeting. It doesn't last for long.

We purchase these things for a moment of superficial joy in a world where at 50% of it is trying to tear us down. Now I'm not saying that these things aren't worth it, it just makes me wonder. That's my thought for the day.

Now, I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of it personally. Step inside my DVD collection and you'd probably agree that I am definitely being hypocritical here, but for example, I quite often look at that DVD collection (and I can look at it for quite a period of time) and finally decide that I have absolutely nothing to watch (and I have been gathering quite a big collection, I think I'm pretty well into the 100+ mark surely). So of course to counter-act this feeling I go out and buy more. But very soon I'm faced with the same problem all over again, and it's just one big vicious circle.

I'm pretty well certain that I don't really get that way with books. I love to read. I really don't read nearly as much as I used to, and I really miss it. I keep losing myself in the entertainment world of movies and TV shows, forgetting the time-old and beloved hobby of opening up a book, taking in the new book smell and just sitting down, getting sucked into a world completely unlike my own. I think that's why I relate to fiction novels so well, because no matter how I may be feeling at the time, a book doesn't judge me, it doesn't do anything except welcome me into the world that the author has created with open arms.

I admire writers, I really do. To be able to sit there and to produce such amazing works is just phenomenal to me. I'd love to meet some of my favourite artists sometime (providing they're not dead. Most authors I seem to like tend to be tortured souls), I think it would be simply spectacular to just meet the creator of some of my favourite novels like "The Wild Rose of Meath" or "The Dark Dream". I might just go to the bookstore next time I get paid, and just wander around, pick out a couple of books that take my fancy. That's the wonderful thing about books, you can pick anything, and I prefer the not-so-popular artists, and just fall into it.

But enough about my book love :-P

I'm so sore at the moment. I finally did something I've been wanting to do for quite a while and that was go to a pole aerobics class. It was so much fun and such a good workout, but seeing as I actually haven't done anything that was actively exercising in quite a while (slack, I know), it's a bit of a shock to my muscles and now they're rebelling against me. Why did lactic acid have to exist? Life would be so much simpler without it, no morning after pain or anything like that. But then I suppose if there wasn't any pain then people wouldn't need people like me (massage therapists) to relieve it would they? :-P And then there's the fact that some crazy people like to go by the "no pain, no gain" motto.

I seriously recommend pole aerobics anyone bold enough to get into it. It is a lot of fun as well as hard work, but it's a good thing! I actually go with my mother to it. My mum is so awesome XD She's delightfully deviant and I love how I can talk to her about anything and she's always up to try something new with me when no-one else will come XD

But yes, we go together. It's hilarious because we were actually planning on having a pole dancing hens party for my aunt who's getting married in May. I'm a bridesmaid :-P. So that would have been fun except now she's decided that she doesn't want a hens party -___-. So instead, because the pump class that mum and I go to really is just exercise, we've decided that we might go to a few freestyle classes too. Freestyle is the casual class where you actually learn some pole dancing moves, which is originally what we thought that pump was, but alas, it was not so.

So we're going to go to a few of those and if we feel like we want to, we're going to start an actual beginners course with the pole dancing school :P It's going to be so much fun and we're going to be soooo fit XD They actually have lap dancing classes and exotic dancing (the kind of pole that strippers do :P) so if we ever get bold enough we might give that a try. We saw some of the exotic while mum was talking to the receptionist about pole fitness after the Thursday pump class, because it was the class after ours =] It looked sexy and they did it in 4 inch heels which made mum and I go WTF! It's going to be so exciting, I'm glad I'm getting into this.

Paul's coming over tonight! Yayay. It's our 9 month anniversary tomorrow and we're just planning on staying in and having a lazy day in our pyjamas. Should be gooooood. Watching movies, cuddling, if he's good I'll even cook him bacon and eggs for breakfast XD It's going to be a good day tomorrow.

Well, thought I'd just post an update because I'm bored while waiting for Paul to finish mowing/concreting with his uncle at his house. I love doing my blog, I don't do it often enough. I think that's why my blogs tend to get so long because they're so few and far between XD But oh well. I keep saying that I'll get into it and start posting more but I don't think it's going to happen :-P Life is too exciting to pass up an opportunity just to do a blog! Besides, it gives me more to say then. =]

I went out with Lauren and Blair last weekend for my birthday =] It was such fun. We went to Pancake Manor and then off to the casino for some light pokies playing and a whole lot of dancing awesomeness :-P

Pancake Manor is so delicious. I could definitely marry that place hehe! I tried some of the specialty pancakes this time, and omfg it was amazing. I loved it. I was so full after though hehe. It was pretty packed though so we had to wait about half an hour or so in the bar downstairs before a table was ready, but that was OK because neither Blair nor I had seen Lauren in a very long time so we just spent most of the time catching up on what's been happening =]

The casino was fun =D I managed to walk away with $15 after only putting $10 in initially. Then we went to the bars upstairs and just danced to the live DJ for most of the night at the little dance floor they have. It was so funny, Blair found someone to dance with, and there was this other guy (when Lauren and I were just dancing by ourselves) who kept trying to dance with us and watching me, but neither of us were interested (he stood there with a glass of scotch looking sleazy, it freaked me out!) so we kept slowly moving away XD

We took a break and went to the bathroom and stuff (dragging Blair away from her new 'friend' after saving her :P) and then when we went back the same guy with the scotch tried to dance with us again so we kind of moved to the other side of the dance floor. He got the hint then, but I felt so bad XD But it was ok =] The dance floor started to die down a bit before it picked back up again and it was funny because a guy came over and asked all three of us if any of us had a boyfriend, then asked me so I told him I did, and so he turned to Lauren and Blair and said that his friend was really shy and wanted to dance with one of us. We kinda rejected him though :P Lauren and I tried to get Blair to go dance with the guy but she refused on the grounds that the friend should just come ask us himself so -shrug-

We didn't really stay too long after that, thing started to die down again, and Lauren actually had to work the next day so at about quarter to 12 we started to head back to Central to catch the train. And of course by then Blair and I understood perfectly why you see girls walking around Queen St carrying their high heels, cause after all that walking and stuff that night our feet were killing us! Lauren was the smart one, she wore flats xD

So we said that we'd cross the street that separates Queen St from the casino in our shoes and then take them off, so we're crossing the road and stupid me freaking stacks in a manhole cover =/ So I just got up (I hadn't had a single alcoholic drink by the way) and kept going, it's only until about halfway down Queen St Mall that I actually check if I'm bleeding and alas, I am. So the lovely Blair walks over to one of the bars to get me a serviette to clean the blood with, and thank god I packed bandaids XD I originally packed them because we were buying new shoes for that night, but most of them went onto my knee XD I overdid it but whatever.

We managed to make it to Central without any more dramas, and caught the next train back home =] Blair got off at Lawnton, Lauren and Petrie, which left me on my own getting off at bogan/rapist Narangba, which scared the crap out of me but I was brave and I did it! As soon as I got off the train though I had my keys slotted through my fingers. If someone tries to get me and I have to defend myself I'm going to fucking make sure they go down ok! xD But I made it home in one piece and managed to stay awake for about an hour before going to bed and sleeping in until at least 10 the next day XD

We're planning on going clubbing in the Valley this weekend coming though, so that should be good to get together again, cause we had so much fun with the 3 of us, but this time, I am definitely wearing either a little heel or flats :P

Peace xx

There's nothing that I wanna do, but try and make it up to you;

2010-03-02T23:34:00.000-08:00

Woah. It's been an entire month + 2 days since my last post XD
You'd think I would have done more since this month has been nothing but dramadramadrama.
I'll be a bit shoddy with the order of which things went down last month, cause honestly, it's all just one big blur. Jayne's been a real bitch to/about Paul as of late, so be prepared for a big 'Jayne's a bitch' rant.

I think probably the first drama was the first week of Feb. Paul had made a comment on Emma Taylor's facebook about an inside joke that they had had from a previous occasion (doppleganger week on facebook, Paul made the comment that she looked like a younger version of Scarlett Johannsen, it went on from there), and for some reason (which is still unknown) Leigh Dowding (a friend of Jayne's) attacked Paul over the comment that was in no way offensive. There are screenshots, I just tried to find them to put here exactly what was said, but I suppose Paul has them XD

So anyway, Leigh's going off his tits at Paul about how he's a pedo and to leave his friends alone and all that sort of stuff, and the thing that you have to understand is that a) Paul's known Emma longer than Leigh as far as I'm aware and b) we hadn't talked to Jayne in two weeks plus. So we were just like what the fudge is this guy on about? Paul doesn't reply to it though, he actually emailed Emma about it and asked her to delete it cause Leigh's unfounded comment was offensive to him. From what I can remember Emma came back to him saying that she would talk to Leigh about it, but wouldn't delete the comments, leaving the slander there for everyone to see.

Now before Paul had talked to Emma, Gavin and Jayne had decided that it would be fun to join in this bitch fest about Paul and, cause Leigh had also said "go back to school you dumb fuck", were basically just going on and on about how Paul wouldn't be let in because he was such a pedo and who would look out for the children with him around and all this other bullshit.

Now, I'm reinforcing the point that neither Paul or I had had anything to do with Jayne for at least two weeks, and it's interesting, because when Paul or I do anything like this (argue or bitch, I mean) on Facebook, we're petty and childish. But all of a sudden when Leigh does something followed by Jayne and Gavin, it's not worth addressing or getting up them for, because they're just so much better than us. .

We trusted Emma to deal with it, after we emailed her, but to our knowledge she didn't get up Jayne for it, nor delete the comments for at least a week, after we had maturely asked her to do so because they were bitching and just generally being assholes. So that just got even more frustrating.

Now because Facebook had changed it's homepage, the privacy settings for everyone had been reset, which they didn't think to tell us about -__-. So after these messages get posted on Emma's Facebook status, Paul gets comments on his pictures saying things like "pedophile of private schools" and shit like that. Now, there were only 3 suspects. And I've listed them all above: Jayne, Gavin or Leigh. Now, since Leigh was the only one that had actually called Paul a pedo openly in the conversation on Emma's status, he was the most likely, so Paul retaliated on Leigh's photos with the same thing "king pedophile" and whatnot.

This actually all happened while I was asleep/at work, so I didn't hear about it until much later. I actually came home and had a threatening message in my Facebook email saying:

"Ah Monique. We finally have a chance to have a little chat. I would take it, as a personal request, that your boyfriend KINDLY desists harrassing me, my friends, and tagging photos of me as "King Paedophile". I would message him personally, but he has his profile set to private completely.

I suggest he removes said tags quickly, or he will VERY soon have a serious problem on his hands. Yes, that is a threat."

So I sent back to him a reply email asking him how we had harassed him or his friends lately, seeing as we didn't reply to his trampling all over Emma's status, and hadn't talked to Jayne or anyone like that, and if he meant Emma or any of the other mutual friends that we have, what right does he have to speak for them? If we were harassing them (which, unless something that one of said to us was offensive, I highly doubt it), surely they have their own voices and would be able to speak for themselves?

Anyway, this carried on for quite a while, with Leigh getting increasingly impatient for Paul to delete tags that were no longer there. He even sent me a final warning email haha! So I had a look at his pics (which were visible to all, sif have him on my Facebook as a friend -eye roll-), and couldn't find a single tag. So I told him as such, and he proceeded to tell me that he had Paul's phone number and address. There are only two ways he would have that. Through a police worker/officer, or through the phone book.

For him to have checked through the phone book, he would have had to know Paul's parents' names, so it immediately casts doubt on a certain employee of the police force that we know Jayne knows. But regardless, despite all of Leigh's threats to sue us for defamation of character and how he should visit Paul and "have a little chat", nothing has come of it. It wasn't expected that anything would, because quite simply, any information of Paul's that he thinks he has, is either wrong or illegally obtained, and if he did even try to sue us for defamation, we have evidence of everything said of Facebook. I made sure to take a shot of Leigh's threatening message, so he's basically painted himself into a corner in terms of anything he can do to us, for lack of a better analogy. So we'll see what happens as time goes on.

I haven't even told you the funniest part yet! Now, think logically, if a friend told you to get the hell out of their life, surely you'd do just that and leave them alone, wouldn't you? Jayne seems incapable of doing that, because I got this email at 5:09 pm on the 3rd of February:

"I read your blog. I just want you to know I'm still here for you if you need a friend or some company.
Your profile picture is very pretty, by the way.
Hope you're okay."

What the hell?!?! I just ignored the email, I didn't plan on replying to this persistent, needy person who can't accept that someone doesn't want to know her. That was the plan, until I got this:

"Did you get my last message??"

Now that just made me pissed. She just wasn't getting the point, or was refusing to accept the point. So I sent her this:

"I did get it, but to be perfectly frank I had absolutely no intention of replying to it because, honestly, you are the last person I'd turn to if I needed a friend. I am actually perfectly fine and I have people that I would turn to if I needed to talk to someone/needed company.

I don't plan on talking to you again after this, so take the hint and stop trying to be my friend when I don't want it.

Farewell."

At least she had the sense to finally get it through her thick head that I wanted nothing to do with her, because she didn't reply to that. I must have made her very angry though, and to be honest, I'm glad if I have. She needs to learn that not everyone kowtows to her will, and that when they don't want to know her, she can't change their mind by saying that she's there for them when she never was in the past.

Anyway, that just really amused me that she would attempt that. Also shows how controlling she can be. The moment someone steps out of what she wants to happen it's a huge drama. You know I was talking the other day, and I realised, that she never ever came over to my house if it wasn't for a party? I always had to go to her. The one time I tried arranging for her and Nicki to come over to mine for games and stuff, it ended up being that we went to hers. That's depressing. My own "friend" didn't even want to step out of her way and come visit me for a change. I guess that can just join the ranks of why she's an ex-friend.

I also have been told that she likes to bitch to out mutual friends about how Paul is such a pedo and crap like that, general talking him down. Now the only reason I can think of for that one is that she thinks that if she talks about Paul like he's a pedo (which he's fucking not, and it irritates me to no end that she says it, but short of bashing her face in, I can't control what she says -__-) it'll convince said mutual friends that she's just so much of a better person and they should be friends with her instead of with a "pedo".

Now, I made the promise to myself and unspokenly to my friends when I stopped being friends with Jayne, that I would never force our mutual friends in any way to choose between us. I don't see the need for there to be a decision made at all. And if the friend does decide that they have to decide, it won't be because of any pressure from Paul or I. It's their decision, and like I said I don't feel that there honestly has to be one, I'm happy for a friend of mine to be friends with Jayne if they want to be. It's their life and their decisions, I won't influence them.

I actually have intelligence that Jayne gets pissed off when someone is a friend with Paul and I, and I won't name names, but these people basically haven't appreciated it when Jayne's tried to influence them that they shouldn't be friends with me/with both of us, whatever the case may be. This intrigues me, because quite a few of the people that I know, if they're pushed too far in one direction, more likely than not, they'll actually go the opposite, cause they don't like to be told what to do. So, it's something interesting/kinda funny about the whole situation.

I actually emailed her about this intelligence, and she blatantly denied it. But the simple fact is that who told me this piece of information wouldn't lie to me just to start shit. They are as over all of her crap and her bitching about Paul and I as...I don't know, a really fed up thing. It's gone to the level of petty and obsessive. Something she takes great delight in calling us all the time when she refuses to look at herself -eyeroll-

This is what I said to her:

"So I hear that you take great pleasure in slandering Paul? Calling him a pedo to anyone who will listen?

And you call us pathetic and obsessive. Surely it's about time you stopped bitching? Just because you two didn't get along, doesn't mean that you have to be so petty as to try and turn the mutual friends you two have against him? Especially with your unfounded claims of pedophilia.

I'm curious, why do you get so upset when anyone is a friend of Paul's as well as yours? Why do you feel this need to slander everything about a person that doesn't want anything to do with you?

The moral of the story is get over it, stop with the slander, and grow up."

This was her reply:

"I have no idea what you're talking about.

Perhaps you and your boyfriend should take your own advice."

So now I'm just like GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. Cause I am just that fed up with her, and her bullshit, and her manipulations. I mean, I just can't stop laughing about how after a month of me not talking to her, she still tried to get me back on her side. What, did she think that I would have changed my mind? Felt remorse for ditching her as a friend? Regretted my actions? Because I honestly don't. I haven't felt a single shred of anything like those feelings since I cut her off. If anything I'm happier without her. When people try and talk about her now my usual responses are a cold and dead "oh that's nice", or I just don't talk. I don't see the need to talk about her at all, I don't give a crap what she's up to in her day to day life, I only care when she's bitching about Paul and I to people we know, cause that's just petty and childish.

Anyway, I feel like talking about other things than Jayne and her true colours =] For now anyway, I'm sure she's not done trying to find ways to hurt Paul and I, fucking bitch.

ANYWHO. My mummy's back!! Yayyy. She's been back for almost a month now, and fucking oath I missed her. She brought me presents! :D A flag signed by the V8 driver that she took over to Norfolk Island for Driver's Ed (does that amuse you as much as it amuses me? XD), a sarong that you actually do up with a shell with holes in it, a really cute little note pad that's shaped like the first letter in my name, and a couple of other things =]. So yeah, I'm really glad that she's back =D

She got back the day before Valentine's day! hurrayyy. haha. I spent V-day at Paul's. First thing to do was wake up and go and get Subway for breakfast. It was yummy but weird at the same time. Egg should never be completely yellow, and flat, and round, unless it's an omelette or part of a pancake...

Then we went to the computer markets that are on at Lawnton every second Sunday of the month =] We walked around for a while, trying to find Paul an R4 for his DSi, cause my aunty told us that you could find them there, but when we couldn't see them and asked one of the other stall owners, they told us that the guy who actually sold them was not, in fact, there that day. So we left, planning on coming back next time it was on.

I forgot to mention that Paul got me a giant Yoshi as my valentine's present! :D It's so cute, and cuddly, and squishy, and red, and cute! :D Although it made me feel so callous and uncaring cause all I got him was a new office chair =[ He's needed a new one for ages, and it's a nice chair, but when he got me such a lovely present I felt terrible that that was all that I had gotten him =[ He seems to like it though.

I had my birthday! :D I was right in my last post, I did get more and more excited as the day got closer. I'm officially old!! 20...gosh. I feel the arthritis already :P I had a really good day though. I took the day off of work (before my days changed I wasn't going to be working on that day, but then they did and I was so I managed to get it off instead :P) and about 1ish Paul rang me saying that he hadn't gone to TAFE that day and did I want to come over?

Soooo I did, cause Mum was at work in replacement of me and so was Dad and the sibs were at school. But yeah, so I went over there and just hung out for a while, he hadn't wrapped my present or anything he said, but I didn't mind. =] He got me Ponyo!!! That movie is so freaking adorable, I fell in love with it the first time I watched it :D So I was very excited that he got it for me on DVD.

I also got:

gold necklace with amethyst pendant and two little diamonds in it (from my grandmother)
gold bracelet
silver necklace chain
gold ring with a black cubic zirconia and two little diamonds on either side
a cute little tea set (including mini teapot, cup and saucer - yes it's literally little!!)
a book on aromatherapy
a towel with my name embroidered into it (from my godparents)
a $25 Coles Myer gift card from Paul's parents
money from my aunt and uncle-to-be

So it was a good day of just relaxing and having fun with someone I love =] We headed back from Paul's to my place at about 5/5:30 to be home in time for my grandmother to ring me (the one who lives on Norfolk Island) for my birthday at 6. We stopped and got some Red Rooster for dinner on the way, and the drive thru line was long and made me panic that we were going to be late T_T

But in true fashion of my grandmother she was late anyway, so when we walked in at exactly 6, the phone wasn't ringing anyway XD She actually didn't ring until Paul and I were about halfway through eating our dinner XD But it was nice that she called. My other grandparents called about half an hour later, while Paul and I were still eating XD but it was a good day. After that Paul and I just went to my room and watched Ponyo and cuddled.

My grandparents (the overseas ones) are actually over from the island at the moment, cause Pa has to have triple bypass surgery. He was admitted to hospital yesterday and his operation was today. I haven't heard anything from Mum yet today, and I don't know what time his surgery was, so I hope that everything's ok. I know that Mum's actually staying with my aunt for a couple of nights with Grandma while Pa's in hospital. So we'll see how he goes =] Hopefully, all will be well.

Anyway, that's probably enough out of me for now. I'll probably blog a bit more in the future as more drama continues.

xx

You are my sweetest downfall ♥

2010-02-01T04:48:00.000-08:00

So it's February the 1st today. The first day of the last month of summer, and only 23 days until my birthday. Strange thing is, that about a month ago I was all excited for my birthday, and now I don't think that I can muster up all that excitement for it. I mean, realistically, I'm only turning 20. My second decade of life. Strange to think that, 20 years ago today I was still in my mother's womb, as she prepared for me and the strange adventures I would bring her.

But anyway, yes I am extremely unmotivated for my birthday at the current time. I suppose that as it gets closer to the actual date I might get that little bit more excited. I don't know though, at the moment I'm just holding out for Mum to get home already. I thought I'd be alright when she left, but then she put off coming home for another 3 weeks to deal with this defensive driving course that she's setting up with some race car driver for over there. That broke me a little. It also made me realise how much I actually rely on my mother, despite my age. As a result I'm going to try and become a little more independent from my parents.

I'm getting there slowly. I'm arranging to go back to college to finish my clinic hours instead of continuing to do them externally, cause in reality, I'm just not doing them. I've also started working on things that I've always wanted to do. Like I spent an hour or so tonight researching piano tutors on the internet. I have seriously always wanted to learn piano, but I also knew that if I attempted to teach myself, then it would go the same way that all things go when I don't push myself, and I'd never do it. There are quite a few places around where I live, I now just have to decide how much I'm willing to pay as well as how far I'm willing to travel.

Speaking of travel, once I finally sort out my freaking finances, that's the next stage. Saving up to go on holidays. I'm hoping to go on a cruise in a couple of years, as well as eventually go to Japan. But more short term is maybe taking a trip to New Zealand to see family and friends that I have over there and haven't seen in ages, as well as my own trip to Norfolk Island.

I love Norfolk. I seriously do. Everything there is so slow-paced. It's wonderful. It's a beautiful island with friendly people, and you get an amazing sense of community and peace there as everyone knows everyone. I remember when I was smaller going there and never having to worry about shoes as there are no poisonous animals there (even the spiders are harmless!), and you never have to worry about seatbelts cause the speed limit is never over 40 (you still don't, cause it still isn't!) haha. I also remember getting lost in the main shopping village area with my brother, and all we did was go to the park cause we had every faith that Mum or someone else we knew would eventually find us (someone we knew finding us wasn't impossible, cause like I said, everyone knows everyone).

It's been, well, quite a few years. I think it was either at the end of year 11 or year 12 that I went there last. I really miss it. My grandmother and the side of the family that I'm actually close to live there, and I miss them every single day. My grandma is one spunky lady let me tell you. She's out there on her property at her age (50/60-something, I forget) with a freaking chainsaw cutting down trees that she needs to etc. She's one amazing woman and I would love to grow old and be just like her.

I'm listening to nice, soothing music at the moment. "Baker Baker" by Tori Amos was just on. I love her. Seriously. If I was lesbian I'd be all over her. Hell I'd be all over her now ;P I've been introduced to so many new artists in the past month or so, like Sia, The Academy Is..., Placebo, Mumford & Sons, and my particular favourite of the moment: Anberlin.

I have heard of these artists before, but I never really thought that I'd be into them previously, just by the names of them. Shows that I should really never ever take a guess depending on a band/artist's name, cause they just might surprise me =] In all fairness I ignored them in the past because the feel of their names was that some of them were screamo bands, and I'm really not a fan of screamo haha. Oh Enigma how I love you (one of their songs just came on).

Enigma is probably my favourite 'massage music' band apart from Enya. They are just amazing. I love their song 'Gravity of Love'. Sarah Brightman (lucky bitch got Phantom of the Opera written for her!) is also another favourite to chill out to. Nowadays I'll pretty much listen to anything that suits my mood. I think that's why I song flick all the time, cause I try to find the song that suits my current mood, and when you have over 2000 songs and you don't really know what you want, it can take a while to find that song.

I've been feeling extra tired lately. Probably another side effect of waiting for my mother to come back, but because of it I'm really becoming rather lazy. And yet despite it all, I still wake up fairly early, and my body clock always, without fail wakes me up itself after giving me 8.5 hours of sleep (providing I don't wake myself up earlier first). I really think I should get my vitamin levels checked cause a naturopathic friend said that lacking in vitamins and general ill health can cause constant fatigue. And in all fairness, I haven't been the healthiest person lately. I think the healthiest I've been was when I had tuna for lunch last Friday XD

This song is making me think of Paul and I. 'You' by Evanescence. As far as I'm aware it's not on any of their albums. I stumbled across it by accident on YouTube once, when I was watching music videos of Final Fantasy scouring for ideas.

I'm really struggling to get back into movie making you know. I think I need to set aside half an hour each day that becomes 'Moni time' so that I can just do things like get back into making AMVs and playing around with Photoshop, because I actually really enjoy doing those things. I'm not artistic in the general sense of paper/canvas and pencils/paint, but give me a mouse, a keyboard, some video clips and a song, and you'd be surprised what I can actually do.

http://www.youtube.com/user/oOpotatoesforeverOo
That's my YouTube user account homepage. That Tae Kwon Do video, was actually played at a demonstration last year, and I've been approached to put it onto DVDs for some of the higher ups. It's one of my simpler works, but I still love it in it's simplicity.

I'm actually making one at the moment to Regina Spektor's 'The Call'. Although I'm having a bit of trouble deciding whether I want it to be a single anime, or a mixture. The way I'm going at the moment though, I think I might use 'D.N. Angel' and 'Strawberry Panic!' as the two mains, with maybe a little bit of Final Fantasy X-2 thrown in for good measure. I need an idea for what to do after I eventually finish this one though. Whether I keep making them or I stop for another year haha.

Gosh I can ramble can't I? And I don't think that I've even really talked about anything in particular. Like seriously, how did I get from talking about the song 'You' and how it reminded me of Paul & I, to AMV making? My train of thought is really random at times.

We got new uniforms at work! They're so much better than our old ones, cause for one they're not white, so they won't show stains so much (ink stains etc). Plus they're so much more comfortable. And I don't have to worry about tucking my shirt in anymore thank god.

Anyway, I have a date with the lovely Callum on the 12th. A night of Disney movies and of course Disney singstar if we don't feel too Disney'd out afterwards :P I miss having crazy adventures with him. He's so much fun, he and I need to have more park based adventures like the night we first met, walking around the park singing songs together and getting muddy (he fell over in it, so naturally he covered me in it when I helped him up XD).

Anywho, bed time! I'm so over work for this week already, but it has to be done. Payday in two days hurrah.

xx

Back to coherent thoughts;

2009-12-20T20:53:00.000-08:00

I understand that my last post was complete mush, but it was 3am and to be honest I actually have no memory of typing half of that stuff. It was quite interesting to wake up later that morning and find that my laptop was on my blog page with a brand new blog on it, when I hadn't posted in a month. So of course I had to read what gobbledegook I'd written and of course it just made me miss him all over again. I went to his house later that day though.

Sooo many things have happened in the past month since my last post before the mushy one. My brother had his 15th birthday, Paul and I are growing closer than ever, we had our 6 month anniversary, we played pool with Evan after going Christmas shopping, oh and probably most eventfully, Jayne and I are no longer friends.

Quite a long story that one, and one that I just really can't be bothered typing it all out, but basically we had more problems, and anyone who knows me knows that I despise conflict, so as a result, our past conflicts were never fully resolved, although as I learnt, to Jayne, they had been. So anyway, essentially, cause something (I can't remember what) happened, something that was just the final straw, and so we had one final argument. One where I ended up bringing up all the things from the past that I felt were unresolved (to which her response was "if you're just going to bring things up from the past that we've already resolved then I have nothing to say". It's just so lovely when a friend refuses to talk to you about something that's still bothering you), and some new things which she actually had the gall to turn around to me and tell me that how I was feeling about those things was "silly" and "ridiculous". Can you imagine how that made me feel? Let's just say that nothing but anger followed after that.

So she blocked me, cause the entire time she was whining about the fact that it was 10:30 when I brought this up (it was the only time I could I would like to mention, for as far as I can recall she was actually playing a game the whole time before that, or I didn't get home until late or something like that), and that if I wanted to talk about it we could talk about it in the morning when our heads were clear. Now, my head was perfectly clear, I knew exactly what I was saying, but she kept insisting and that was just adding insult to injury. SO yeah, in the end to get her way, she blocked me. That was the last time that I've spoken to her on MSN.

I emailed her soon after saying some crap that I don't remember, and then again the next day reminding her that she still has two of my DVDs and if she could return them in the next two weeks. I get one back saying something like she could be jetting off to Paris for 3 months tomorrow and I wouldn't know, basically telling me off for setting a time frame, so naturally I came back with well if you couldn't do it in that time then I assume that you would have told me instead of just being a bitch about it (in different words, but those were the feelings behind it). Long story short, I still don't have them back. So now I'm tempted that next time I'm out that way I'll just drop in and take them, I don't give a fuck if she has company or not. Or I'll just email her again, whatever.

But anyway, back to happy things. Like I said, my brother had his 15th birthday this month. I had to work that morning, but after that I went and picked up Paul and got his present (I was stashing it at Paul's house) and Paul and I went back to mine to give him his present. Now I should explain. Paul wrapped his present, but before he put the wrapping paper on it, he covered it with 6 layers of newspaper. Oh it was so amusing to see my brother turning dinosaur and rabid as he got frustrated with all the newspaper XD I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time. But in the end he got it all off. We got him Left 4 Dead on Xbox 360, and it's co-op so he and mum played it that night. Gosh it was funny watching. There's a ledge that if you fall off it you have to have a team member help you back up. My brother just kept running off it for shits and giggles and having a team member pull him back up XD Good times.

I have an Xbox 360 of my own now! Paul got his new one and although I'm still owing him $100 for getting this one off him, he gave it to me early as a graduation present, as well as a copy of Assassin's Creed which he bought for me a while ago. Oh how I do so love presents <3 But anyway now I can use it to watch all the movies that I have on my HHD, on my TV. It's so nifty! ;D I love my gorgeous pookie. He's so amazing to me.

I finished college this semester too, apart from finishing getting my hours up, but I don't have to go into the college anymore. That thought both scares and excites me. I am arranging something through a customer at work to finish off my hours, which is hella exciting, but again very scary.

I've actually been thinking for a long time that I might like to get into counselling. I loved the communication classes that I had to do for my course this time round, and I love helping people and talking them through there problems. I've been told that I'm pretty good at it too. I can be very insightful at times, as Callum can attest to. So that might be on the cards for future study for me. Maybe even a future career if I ever get sick of this massaging lark (which I highly doubt, but I may have it as a side career, who knows? I could be the first ever counselling masseuse! ;D) So yes, I'll have my official graduation at the end of this year once I complete my clinic hours. Suncorp stadium, caps and gowns, the whole shebang ;D I can't wait and hope that all my loved ones (including my lovely boyfriend) will be there to support me. I might end up with a plus 15 the way I'll be inviting people ;D

But anyway, last week I finished off my Christmas shopping. Evan, Paul and I all went out to Morayfield shopping centre to buy our final presents. I just had to buy for Paul, and he for me, and Evan started as just a welcome tag-a-long but then he ended up buying a present for his dad. We went to Spencer's Gifts, and there's this adorable little panda-shaped lamp that I want to get. Hellooooo next payday ;D

Although I'm not entirely sure that I would be able to get it next payday cause Paul and I are hosting a new years eve party at my house. The awesome thing is that Mum and my siblings will be overseas, and Dad will pretty much just stay inside and keep to himself. I'm getting really excited about it too, cause I'm planning on cooking at this party, yummy things like roast chicken drumsticks and Greek salad and coconut pavlova roll and rum balls and all these exciting things. And better still my gorgeous friend Callum is up from Melbourne and will be attending, so the plan is that I pick him up from the station earlier in the day and we spend the whole day cooking laughing and having fun. General preparing for this thing. We're gonna have so much fun ;D

But anyway, I'm excited for Christmas in 4 days ;D Paul and I have a plan so far of me staying at his house that night, breakfast at his, lunch at mine and dinner wherever. I had the other idea of us staying at our own houses, with breakfast being eaten where we were, then lunch together at mine and dinner together at his, but then I felt sad cause I wanted the joy of waking up next to the man I love on Christmas morning.

Anyway, that's all I have probably for another month haha.
xx

I miss you;

2009-12-18T09:15:00.001-08:00

It's now been over a month since my last post, I'm just not finding the time to spend on this like I used to, but oh well. Life happens and mine appears to have gotten interesting. But that's for another post.

It's 3am and I can't sleep. I'm listening to Yiruma and I just finished watching the first season of "The Secret Diary of a Call Girl", starring Billie Piper. It's really quite good, even if it is soft-core pr0nz.

So, here I am, unable to sleep, and missing the man I love so very much. I saw him on Thursday, but you know how you get to the stage of affection where you just miss someone you care about a lot every single day? Well, we're in there. I see him tomorrow afternoon but that just can't come fast enough to be honest. And so I lay here, wrapped up in his blanket which he loaned me to help me sleep better (I sleep better when there's the scent of him around), wishing terribly that I could just be curled up beside him right now, safe in his arms and listening to his snores. I'm such a sap...

I know all of this may sound vomit worthy to some people but words can literally not express how I feel for this man. The words "I love you" just don't seem to cut it anymore, unless I say them ten times over in rapid fire, which of course then comes out in complete mumbo jumbo cause I stuff up the words.

He just makes me feel so...I dunno...safe is the first word that comes to mind. Like I know if I'm having a bad day he'll be there for me, arms open wide, waiting to give me a giant cuddle that only he recognises I need. He also makes me feel adored, like if I'm having a day where I just feel like shit and keep thinking that I look it too, there's no hesitation in telling me how beautiful I am, or how I'm adorable. I just love these little reassurances I get so readily from him, they make me feel so...well, loved.

Of course we have our ups and downs (more downs when I'm tired or pissy I'm sad to say), but somehow we always end up talking it through and making up, and after a big fight, I love how we can just lay there on his bed and cuddle, no words needed, just being together.

That's the one thing I need the most in my life, I think. A relationship where we didn't have to talk 24/7 to be comfortable, where we're at the point that we can just look at each other and catch a drift of what the other is on about. My previous relationship lacked that and I'm so grateful that it's there in this one. I'm glad that we connect on a deeper level than words, cause realistically, I'm not too good with them.

It's like when we went to David and Cassandra's cocktail party last week, it took a few cocktails and the right conversation topic for me to say anything, whether witty or no, cause I just freeze around people when I try to find the right things. It's something I need to work on, as well as the ever enduring battle against my self-consciousness, but the point is that at the beginning of anything I'm not much of a talker.

I love our connection on a deeper level, he makes me feel like I could talk to him about anything, again, something that was lacking in my previous relationship. Like I can easily open up to him about my job fears, my financial fears (like how the crap I'm going to make my next loan payment when it runs with a phone bill that's due, things like that), my fears about our relationship (I worry a lot about losing this amazing man), my fears about my relationships with my friends, all that sort of stuff. I don't always talk about that, but most of the time he just accepts when I say I need time to talk about it, and waits patiently for me to find the right words when I stumble. I just hope he knows that I want him to be just as open with me, and at the moment, I'm feeling like he does.

I love you Paul, so so much. This will sound corny but you just complete me. You're the one man that I've ever felt any of this for, and I'm glad that we've made it to six months this past Monday. I hope we have many months if not years ahead of us my love. I adore you and can't wait to give you a gigantic "I missed you" cuddle tomorrow afternoon.

All my love,
Monique
xoxo

Girly gaming fights ending;

2009-11-13T18:52:00.000-08:00

Wew! I'm getting slack again! Although to be honest that's really only because this is the first real chance that I've had to come back and write in this thing xD It's sooo good just lazing around in bed, I only woke up almost an hour ago you know x3 (it's 12:54), and Paul's still deep in the land of sleepy time dreams and amazing fantasies =D

So, where to begin...what day was November 2 anyway...(last post, xD) -checks- Ahh I see, almost two weeks ago haha! Okay, so. First things first: PENISPHALLICOBJECTMORONICDOODLEPOKEBALLGO! There's my randomness out of the way x3

Well, Jayne and I have made up once again after a loooooooooooooooong conversation that lasted up until around midnight-ish, and would have gone on longer had I not been about to pass out and gone to bed. I think she may have actually heard me this time, and we got through a lot of stuff. I mean we really did talk about a lot xD

Let's see...last weekend. Last weekend was Danielle's 20th birthday party, which she chose to have at the Coffee Club at the top of Queen St Mall, where you cross the road to get to the casino and Southbank. It was a very good day, Paul and I had bought her a present each which we claimed was conjoined, and she loved both of them. We got her a book each you see, and she's a total book fanatic. I got her "How To Break Your Own Heart" by Maggie Alderson, an author I know she loves cause she got me hooked on her books, and Paul got her "The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles" by Haruki Murakami, who is a Japanese author that, again, her and I both adore. His books are so amazing, everyone should seriously read them, they're not like the normal books that you see around, they're different and amazing for it.

Anyway, I digress. Jayne & Nicki were there too, they got her a joint present, a cherry blossom body pack from The Body Shop, and we met lots of her other friends, including seeing Bek (her sister) and Bek's friend again, we met Scotty (who I'd heard a lot about xD), some of her Evermore concert friends, the crazy funny Japanese people from her Japanese club, and others who I sadly don't remember. It was a day filled with laughter and happiness as Nicki tried to teach me how to make origami roses and then we all just sat around talking/laughing/eating lunch and general having fun.

We were there (Nicki, Jayne & I) until about 4pm or 5pm or something, and in the meantime we had decided to go to Fat Louie's (a pub near Gilhooleys) to play pool. Gavin was going to meet us there, and Don & Nils (who were already in the city) were going to come along as well. Now I don't think that I had this blog when this happened, and so wouldn't have posted about it, but Don is Jayne's friend and one of my exes, whom I hadn't seen since we broke up in either April or May, I forget which. So I was slightly nervous at seeing my ex again. Before we could go to Fat Louie's though, I had to go to The Reject Shop to get two 50mL bottles for my aromatherapy assignment which was due on Tuesday, and then to Target in the Wintergarden to get a pair of proper shoes cause I only had thongs on, and going to a pub previously I had been denied entry due to wearing things.

So we did all of that and then headed over to Fat Louie's, making small detours as we always do, which included stopping at an adult store, and trying to get Jayne to go inside before we all lost nerve cause there were slightly forboding stairs that went down before you entered the store, and then - cause when we were at Target, we saw a 7/11 and Jayne remembered that it was free slushie day on the provision that you said "happy 7/11 day!" to the person at the counter - we found another 7/11 and Jayne and Nicki went in there for the free slushie, but the line was a bit too long and it wasn't frozen anyway, so we moved on.

Now, I should tell you, that there was a lot of laughter along the way to Fat Louie's cause we had decided to give ourselves completely different names just for the hell of it. I'm not entirely sure how that came about, but it did, and it was hilarious xD Here's what the names were (we decided them for everyone):
Nicki: Ben
Jayne: Chris(tine)
Me: Mandy (Amanda)
Gavin: Theodore (Teddy)
Don: Ashton (was going to be Ashley)
Nils: Marvin (now Nils already has a pretty awesome name, so we decided that it had to be slightly spacey, Marvin the Martian?)

So we got there and Gavin had already arrived, so we just sat and talked for a while, before deciding that Don & Nils were taking too long to get there, so we went up to the counter and paid the deposit for the pool table, and we were about halfway through a game (Jayne & I vs. Nicki & Gavin or something like that) when they did arrive.

Now I have to say, it doesn't look like Don has changed a bit. He's a bit slimmer perhaps (he's a bit of a gym junkie so I guess that's finally paying off), but apart from that he still looks like the same old Don. Nils hasn't changed much either. He's had a haircut since I last saw him, but he's still living in his purple house and as far as I'm aware still doing the same job. I love how some things don't change.

It was a bit awkward at first, as it usually is with the whole first time seeing the ex again, but because we were a rather large-ish group of people now (6 is a lot at a pool table), it wasn't too bad. We didn't speak at all that night really, except for the odd glance and a smile as we watched the other take their shot.

Either way it was a really fun night. After the first game we only played a couple more (Nicki left after the second one cranky cause we were having fun playing pool and he wanted to go back to Jayne's and play Mario), which was Olds (Gavin, Don & Nils) vs. Youngs (me, Jayne and Nicki), and then the last game we played we switched tables for the ones with chairs near it, and, cause Gavin was sitting out cause it was now uneven, and Nils had gone to get a drink, turned out to Jayne & I vs. Don on his own. He gave us a good run for our money too, but we beat him in the end xD Jayne, Nicki & I won the Olds vs. Youngs game too xD

Now, we made up different names for each other, but by about halfway through the night when everyone was talking to each other (I had a fun talk to Nils cause I hadn't seen him in a while - he lives out at Gympie so he's not out this way much - he's funny xD), we had all forgotten all about it until we were saying bye, and then as a joke we were like "Bye Ashley, bye Marvin!" XD

So after that we all went our separate ways, cause Don & Nils had to go and there wasn't much point with only three of us. I ended up catching a lift with Jayne & Gavin back to Lawnton station (which they had to go to to get Jayne's car anyway), and then train-d it back to Narangba and then over to Paul's, where I stayed the night. So that was an amazing fun-filled night, and then Sunday Paul and I did sweet fudge all =]

After that it was business as usual with work on Monday and then college on Tuesday. Tuesday was actually a pretty good day until unfortunately a whole string of rather unlucky things happened to me in a row. First was that when I was coming home on the first train, I left my college books on the seat next to me. Luckily though, in case this happened like I knew it would eventually, I had written my mobile number on my books, so the person who found them would hopefully contact me and then I could arrange to get them back, which is exactly what happened, I arranged with the woman who found them to get them back on Friday.

THEN, cause I was feeling all "omg how could I do that? I'm such a twat" from leaving them on the train, and QR was being a slut monkey that day, the trains to Caboolture confused me, cause it said there was one leaving in 5 minutes, but then it just disappeared and the next one wasn't for another half an hour, so I went to the bathroom. As soon as I walked through the bathroom door, I heard the announcement that the Caboolture train was arriving on platform 6, so I made my mad dash down the stairs, but a little too late. So with a sigh I trekked back up the stairs and back to the bathroom, went back down the escalator and stood on the platform waiting, feeling kind of sad and like a complete moron (it had been a big day), so I texted Jayne, Paul and Bolo telling them what had happened, cause I figured telling someone would make me feel better. Paul ended up ringing me when I got on the next Cabo train and I told him what happened, and although I wasn't going to originally, I ended up going to his place for "make-moni-not-feel-like-such-a-dork" cuddles =3

Anyway the rest of the week passed pretty non-eventfully. On Thursday I took Paul to Mission Australia for his appointment and then we went to the library. I haven't been to the library for years, and I've actually found that I've missed it...I think I might be paying more visits to it in the future =D

Anyway, Friday was college day and Jayne and I caught up afterwards. =3 Due to the circumstances of Tuesday, I asked her to meet me in the city after college so that she could come to Southbank with me so that I could get my Aromatherapy books back from Leonie, so she did. I met her at Central, and then off we headed through Queen St Mall and over to Southbank. On our way through Queen St Mall we saw Kate Miller-Heidke was supposed to be playing at midday, but by the time we went to Southbank, got my books, got lunch from the bakery there (cheese & bacon croissant, omg..), and then made it back over to Queen St (with a slight detour at the toy store cause Jayne was going to a costume party as a pirate wench and she was debating the idea of a pirate sword), she was finished performing and signing autographs. Jayne and I stopped and watched for about a minute (Jayne had no idea who she was so I was attempting to explain it xD It's a sad day when I know more about the world of celebs than a friend of mine) before going back on our mission to find the information centre.

We were trying to find it because of the previously mentioned party that Jayne was going to as a pirate wench, and she had told Gavin not to worry, she'd find her way, but then because she's capped, she couldn't get a map off the internet so it was kind of like ummm...MAYBE THESE PEOPLE COULD TELL US! -giant grin- And then when we finally got to the information centre (which was allllll the way at the other end of Queen St Mall), Jayne, the silly one, forgot the name of the hotel. She knew that it was something "Urban", (which in the end turned out to be the name of the hotel: "Urbane"), so we had an adventure and a mini argument over ringing Gavin to ask xD In the end we didn't, and just asked the ladies at the front counter for directions, which they happily gave, and as it turned out, it wasn't really that far away, it was just over on Wickham Terrace. So we left happily with Jayne's directions and now potential to tell Gavin that he was wrong (he said that he could see Jayne ringing him cause she had gotten lost) xD

After all that it was almost 2pm so we decided to head over to the Botanical Gardens for a while. On the way there we stopped at a couple of different places like I showed Jayne where Mick O'Malley's is (it's an Irish pub, but turns out she already knew), The Body Shop, where we played with the testers and talked to the very gay guy who worked there, gosh he was funny xD We also stopped at Borders (the bookstore) and explored the manga section for a while (all in the search for a chair, due to our crazy heavy bags, which we soon forgot all about), then we headed off and stopped at JB Hi-Fi before that and played around with the games and the computers, getting Jayne's impressive and my limited nurd on xD There was a touch screen computer screen! Which of course Jayne and I fell in love with instantly =D We had fun pondering if it would be cheating in FPS games having that screen, cause you could get head shots a lot easier =3

Anyway after stopping there, which was our last detour, we finally trekked the rest of the way to the Gardens (commenting on the awesome Japanese restaurant at the Royal Albert that we have to go to one day), went for a short stroll before deciding that the first patch of grass we came across was amazing, and we just plonked down (in a way that made us feel like grandmas) and sat in that spot, listening to my iTouch, drinking L&P, and eating Starburst jelly babies and K Bars (raspberry flavour). And we just talked (about everything girly, from pregnancy to monthlies, boyfriends to exes), laughed at the gang of "emo" teenagers that sat down behind us closer to the path, and going "ewwwwwww" at the two older people making out on the grass across the lake. All in all, it was a very good day =3

Anyway at about 3, I had to go, so we walked alllll the way back to Central station, only just resisting the urge for Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and then I felt sorry for Jayne cause she had to walk allll the way back again to the beginning of the directions, and then alllll the way to the hotel (I think she walked, there was a bus but I don't know if she took it). But anyway, we had a good afternoon with lots of randomness and laughter, the best kind <3

I got home (meaning Paul's home) at about quarter to 5, and then we ended up leaving his place - we had an argument :-( - to go to mine to play games with my brother and sister =D It took us like, half an hour to even decide what game we were going to play, and in the end we settled for Pictionary until dinner. Gosh it was funny. Karlie and I were on fire xD Paul and Bradley teaming up was just hilarious.

After we had dinner, we played Mario Party up until about 10pm, and then we alll got into our swimmers and went in the pool. It was so much fun. They played Battleships & Subs, and Marco Polo while I reffed. xD Then after that we started taking turns on the pool slide, and just general swimming around having fun. Bradley got out at about 11, but Paul, Karlie and I were in the pool at least another half an hour after that, and after we got out, we all just sat in the living room watching Top Gear and crap like that. Paul and I were the last to go to bed, and when we did we just laid in bed cuddling and watching Scrubs until I eventually fell asleep.

Today is our 5 month anniversary today and it's 2:20pm. Paul's still sleeping, I've been awake for about 2.5 hours now. I'll wake him up soon xD

That's all I really have to add...except that Jayne and I are going over to Evan's tomorrow to steal his pool table, drag him away from Dragon Age and play some pool and have general fun times =D It's not Fat Louie's, but it's free =3

<3 xx

Fighting 2.0;

2009-11-02T06:03:00.000-08:00

Well, Jayne and I are fighting again. Well to be honest, it's Jayne and Chad vs. me. And it's over something completely stupid too.

Basically I did one of those funny little things on facebook where you get the photo of multiple little pictures that are so cute, and have things listed under them like "the party animal" and things like that. And I tagged a whole heap of people including Chad, Jayne, Paul and a few others. It was all okay until Paul made one comment that for some reason Chad took offence to and decided to attack him for it, saying something like "Paul should be tagged as the douche, oh wait there isn't one for that". All because Paul said something about 'the couch' which is our code word for a certain person. It's not Jayne or anything like that, so I don't know why Chad was getting so uppety.

Anyway after Chad wrote that comment, Jayne decided she'd be a little smart ass cow and put in "Good one Chad", effectively joining in on an argument that she isn't part of to begin with. So when she decided to stick her nose where it didn't belong, and I finally got sick of Chad, I retaliated at both of them, saying:
"Uncalled for Chad, since you don't know the background.
As for you Jayne, since you probably would agree if you knew he was talking about, stop being a hypocrite."

After that the conversation just degraded, with Chad continuing on the arguement by being a total asshole, provoking Paul into retaliating to what he said. This is what Paul said in the first place:
"Shouldn't the couch be the confused one? Or the fatty? Yes, I'm straight to the point. Love it. I'm dead on :D"
Now like I said before, 'couch' is our codeword for someone who was not actually in this fight at all. It had nothing to do with Chad, nothing to do with Jayne, nothing to do with anyone else who had commented on the photo. So again, I don't know what the hell Chad thought he was doing, whether he thought it was aimed at Jayne, and instead of asking, he just took all his angst at her now dating Gavin and turned it against Paul - which severly disappoints me with him because I thought him so much better than that - or he was just taking it personally, either way Chad was completely unprovoked and a complete bastard about it.

Now between all of these comments, I'm actually talking to Chad on MSN and telling him off for the completely uncalled for comment. He's being a moron and trying to dodge the fact that I'm actually really pissed off at him for it, trying to make me drop the subject, but I held out against him. I told him that he had no idea the history between Paul and the person he was talking about, and he came back with:
"He knows their history, I know his history, etc etc etc" Now you tell me. Is that a viable defence for someone who realistically has no idea what the hell they're talking about? I didn't think so, so I glared at him some more and told him that he was being a complete moron and in the end I told him to have fun on my blocked list. I've blocked Jayne too.

All the while Facebook comments are coming in on the photo like wildfire, including a funny one from Eevari saying "ALL YOUR HATE HAS CAUSED ANNOYING E-MAIL NOTIFICATIONS...STFU ALL OF YOU" (he was tagged in the picture too). In the end I told both Jayne and Chad off completely, and then added that any further comments on the subject on my facebook would be deleted. So what do Chad and Jayne do? Well Jayne puts a comment that says "meowwwwwww :D", then Chad puts one saying "penis." then Jayne puts another one saying "popcorn!". Of course you won't find any of those there anymore, because true to my word I removed them.

But those comments just pissed me off all the more, and I told Chad off for it again, cause them doing that just made me feel like they were trying to make me angry, trying to make me even more pissed off at them, like they didn't even care that I was really hurt by that pointless argument that started on a misunderstanding on Chad's part. I ended up telling Chad to have fun on my blocked list - I had taken him off to go off at him some more, and after Jayne posted that popcorn message, I unblocked her and told her "Fuck off Jayne, you're not funny", then blocked her again. She's still blocked now, and she most likely will be for a very long time if she wants to be a fucking bitch like that.

I actually called her a drama seeker in one of my final messages on Facebook too. Which is all that she looked like by sticking her nose where it didn't belong. It was Chad vs. Paul, which turned into Chad vs. me defending Paul. So where the hell does she fit into the equation? Correct answer? There's no way in hell that she does. Paul's message wasn't about her, and while I know that she doesn't like Paul, doesn't mean that she needs to get involved over every little thing. So much for the promise to be civil Jayne, you ignorant, nosy, drama needing person.

As for Chad? I'm suspecting that he's actually blocked me too now, cause I didn't actually delete him, I just blocked him, so he'd still show up on my MSN list if he was online, but not be able to see me, and he's not. And he's not one to go to bed early either. But hey, right now, considering I've deleted him off Facebook and blocked him (I was so tempted to hit the report button too), I really don't give a rat's ass. I actually thought that he was above all this petty argument starting for the hell of it you know. Just goes to show what a great judge of character that I'm not.

I'm actually feeling rather relieved that I have Jayne blocked at the moment. There's just so much drama surrounding her, and to be honest, I was getting really sick of it. While it may all seem exciting, on the other hand it's really draining on a person. Like this whole thing with Gavin. The Thursday that we went shopping she told me while we were eating lunch (as well as repeatedly throughout the day) that she wanted to be single for a few months, just enjoy the single life. Look how long that lasted. And of course the guys that she had after her (one of them Chad), she had to deal with all their drama and crap and I just didn't ask about all of that because I knew it would drain what energy I had...

Anyway, in other, happier news, I had a good weekend! Saturday I spent with Paul and his uncle Stephen tearing down a rusty old wire fence that his uncle had running down the middle of his sheep paddock. I haven't sweated that much in ages, it was really rather fun =D And no, contrary to Paul's beliefs that I would, being Kiwi and all, I did not chase the sheep. Paul did though, I think my Kiwi might be rubbing off on him xD It was funny watching his nana driving around the paddock on her scooter, with her cute little dog Minnie sitting under her feet and going for a ride. xD

I got attacked by fence twice in the process of cutting it down too. Once on my back, which was a lack of communication between Paul and I and my own stupidity of wearing a singlet, but Paul told me to watch out for my head and my leg on the fence, but forgot to warn me about my back, and the second time was my own fault, I got my foot tangled in some barbed wire that we left on the ground for collection when we were done and tripped over it, so I now have a lovely cut on my back, somewhere on my shoulder blade, and the other on the back of my ankle, just above my Achille's tendon. They don't hurt, but I have battle wounds =D I'm so proud x3

So we were at his Nana's from about 9:30am until about 6pm. We finished the fences at about 3 or 4pm (or maybe earlier), but during the breaks we took for a drink and for lunch, and then after we were finished, other family members were drifting in and out. I don't remember all their names, but there was his uncle Noel and his partner, aunt Susan (or something..), Graham, Peter and his partner, and his cousin Matt and his partner Crista or something like that haha. I think that was all of them, and I just hope that next time I see them (which may be Christmas) they'll forgive me for not remembering their names and calling them "hey you!" xD It was a fun day though, I think I sat in the lounge room with Paul's Nana for about 3 hours or so just watching TV and dozing off slowly while Paul and Stephen did something in the shed. It was funny =]

Sunday was a good day too. I stayed over Paul's that night, and when we finally dragged our asses out of bed and had a shower and everything (which was about 3pm I should tell you), we went back over to my place for a while cause my grandmother from Norfolk Island was up! Pa wanted to come up that day too, but apparently (cause they're actually staying with Pa's sister while Pa has/had his surgery and appointments and stuff) his nephew was coming up to see him so he couldn't. But it was good to see my Grandma again. I hadn't seen her since my 18th, which was almost two years ago now. We talked for an hour or so about this and that, just catching up and hugging, I introduced her to Paul too. She seemed to like him. She loved the fact that he used to work at Bunnings (it's only her favourite store that she can get lost in for hours).

Then Aunty Toni and Adrian came over, and by this time Paul, Karlie and Bradley were playing Operation while I was playing Super Mario Sunshine on the Gamecube. I'm newly addicted to that game. But after they played Operation I turned off Mario and all four of us played The Game of Life: Twists and Turns, which is like a modern version of the original Game of Life. It was fun. Paul and I ended up bringing it back to his place and playing it again x3 We've decided that one night we want to have a big, awesome games night. Not computer/console games, but board/card games. So when we get that planned it should be ossum.

Anyway, our game got interrupted about halfway through for dinner, which was a roast and it was freaking amazing I might add. Paul loved it, and for dessert there was sticky date pudding and chocolate pudding and oh my god, I seriously died and went to heaven xD then after dinner and we finished our interrupted game, I took Paul home, then at about 11:30pm I came home again and went to bed, and today I just worked!

So there it is, my weekend and my not so good night tonight. I was literally shaking with anger when I left tonight to come to Paul's, I was that pissed off at Chad and Jayne. But hey, what's done is done now, I'm not talking to them, and they'll just have to deal with that until I feel that I can face them and their dramas again, which I don't see happening soon, but whatev. I'm sure they'll survive. I'm starting to think that I don't need extra crap like this sort of shit in my life you know?

Enough of my musings for one night, I'm just gonna chill out and watch some Pearl Harbour now, Paul's playing Fallout 3. It looks fun but he doesn't let me near it XD

<3

Oil burning cypress adventures;

2009-10-29T22:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, new record, twice in two days! Posting I mean. I'm pretty sure that this is just a one off cause I had a bit of an adventure today.

So today I went to college as I normally do on a Friday morning, getting up at the ungodly hour of 6am for the 5th last time ever. And I mean ever. It's my last semester this year and I can't wait until I finish xD I'll be all like wew~ partyyyyyyyy! =D Except I probably won't party, I'll probably just like, fall into bed and sleep for 100 years like Sleeping Beauty. Yeah, that's more like it...

ANYWAY. Went to college. Got to the break in the middle of Remedial Massage 2 and went to Raindrops Essential Oils, which is the name of the massage/aromatherapy product shop that two of the lecturers at my college own. They're really lovely people, Dave and Katherine, but neither of them were there today. And then when I asked for the student aromatherapy starter pack that I needed, the woman who served me - who was also very lovely - told me that just yesterday Dave had taken all the ones that she had made up down the coast to shrink wrap them all together. So in the end it turned out that she was just going to make me one up right then on the spot, and she told me to go back to class and come back after class was finished to collect it, cause it would take her a while.

So I did just that, I got a coffee and went back to class, and when I came back to the store to pick it up (in all fairness it was only half an hour, and she had to measure and label all the things as she made them up), she was still in the process of doing it. So I just wandered around the shop looking at everything (it's only a little shop but it's so adorable), while she finished that off, and I just happened to admire the oil burners that were there for $3. That's when I got a surprise cause the woman said that she'd throw it in for free, but just don't tell Dave or Kath. So I thanked her and took one, so now I have an adorable little oil burner.

While she was filling up the bottles to the right sizes as the list, which I had luckily brought so I didn't forget what the thing was called (it had all the oils and measurements for each that was included, luckily for the woman), said, and printing off the labels for each of them, she was having issues printing off the label for the Cypress oil, cause every time that she would go to print it out, her computer froze on her. So what does she do? She finally gave up trying to print off a label for a 5mL bottle of it, and gives me a 12mL bottle of it instead...at no extra cost! "There you go, a 12mL bottle for the price of 5mL" was what she said. I just couldn't believe my luck!

So after we FINALLY got it all sorted out and I paid the original price for what the pack would have been, I talked to the woman for a couple more minutes about college and aromatherapy and various items in the shop while she bagged it for me, then said bye and went to catch my train, oil burner, tea light candle and 12 essential oils all in tow. I felt so lucky. =D

So now I have:
Cedarwood
Cypress
Geranium
Ginger
Lavender
Lemon
Sweet marjoram
Black pepper
Rosemary
Ylang Ylang
Juniper berry &
Tea tree

I have all 12 of those oils so now I can finally get started making some aromatherapy blends! YAAAAAY! I can't wait to start mixing some for people, and testing them out to see if they work. While I was in the shop I also noticed that they sell shampoo and conditioner bases, so I can make aromatherapy blends for shampoo and conditioner!!! That would be especially helpful for my friend Jayne who has dermatitis on her scalp, so this whole thing excites me =D

Oh! And my other adventure was on the Caboolture train home, I just happened to look over to the other side and see someone who looks EXACTLY like my friend Abe. But he lives in NSW so it can't have been him, right? I was tempted to text him asking but I didn't.

Anyway, I've had a big day, and I'm dying from tiredness.
Cut!
xx

Ridiculous adventures of the crazy kind;

2009-10-21T07:48:00.000-07:00

~The dawn is breaking, a light shining through~

Wew. I love that song. I seriously can never get sick of it!

Collide - Howie Day. I don't actually remember how I came across it, I'm pretty sure that it was in a movie... -shrug- who knows, all I do know is that I can have it on repeat and never get sick of it like I do with other songs. The other one of course is One Safe Place - Marc Cohn. I can still listen to that one for hours on end.

Gosh it's been another whole two weeks since I last wrote a blog. I seriously do think that I am getting bored with it for the time being. Especially considering I've had some rather exciting adventures in the past time frame, yet haven't bothered to document them. So here I am now getting ready to =D

So I wrote that I was going shopping with Jayne last Thursday. Which did happen, and was a tremendous success as well as a total failure. A huge success cause we bought some lovely things, but a total fail cause I managed to spend allllll my money... ='[ And I mean all of it. There were only coins left in my wallet. This is what happens when I go clothes shopping on pay day and don't plan it out properly...-sigh-

But anyway, focusing on the positives. I went to the bank that morning and did all the necessary transactioning, board to my parents, paying my car loan, etc. Then just as I get out to the carpark, Paul texts me asking me to call him, so I do. He just wanted to know - cause it was ridiculously hot when there was no breeze - if I would mind picking him up from a train station so that he didn't have to walk home in the heat. I told him I would and that I'd be there in about 10 minutes, and he said that it would take him roughly that long to get to the agreed station too.

So I sat there waiting in the heat, at the pick up section of the station (turns out it didn't take me that long to get there at all), for about 5 minutes before Paul's train arrived. We stopped at the petrol station cause I need petrol and he wanted lunch on the way of dropping him home. I had already texted Jayne while I was waiting at the station to say that I was going to be a bit later than I had said. She said that that was okay cause she was held up at her sister's too.

So anyway eventually I got to Jayne's, and we just sat around her granny flat for about 15 minutes just talking about nothing and double checking that she had everything that she needed. After that we left to go shopping yayyy. I asked her before we left if she knew that the yellow place near the Chermside shopping centre was a Beaurepaires, Bob Jane T-Marts or a Dick Smith Electronics, but she didn't know, so we ended up just going to the tyre place that her dad goes to.

It was really funny. Both of us balked at the idea of asking the guy what I needed (which was a new tyre, due to both my spare and the original being punctured), but eventually we asked him, he took a look at my tyre size and went into the workshop to check if he had any. Turns out that he didn't have any tyres (new or secondhand) in my tyre size and wouldn't until Monday, so I told him what was wrong with my old one and he ended up just fixing the tyre.

Now Jayne and I were standing in the mechanic's shop waiting for them to finish fixing my tyre (one of the workers kept giving us the evil eye, like he was telling us "you stupid females, get out", it was scary..), and when the guy who we first talked to in the shop took off my tyre with his magical speedy screw remover gun thing, Jayne told him that her dad comes to this place and all of a sudden we had instant respect in that guy's eyes (not the one glaring, he still kept glaring...). It was hilarious. I felt totally out of place and yet was fascinated by it. In the end fixing my tyre only cost me $20, which I thought was amazing.

So next we went to Chermside to do what we had been planning on doing all along: SHOPPING! Oh it was an adventure getting to Chermy too, cause I was convinced - as they had also filled the tyre with air for me, and I haven't filled my other tyres in a while - that my car was tilting to one side from the extra air pressure on the left side from the newly repaired tyre. Jayne didn't believe me though. I kept asking if she thought my car felt tilted slightly and she said no, so in the end I just agreed with myself and stopped asking =3

Anyway we got to Chermside, and of course since we came out right in front of it, the first stop was Donut King for a cup of mini donuts each. Neither of us had had lunch, so we used the donuts to fill us up for a while until we ate something actually lunch-y. Then we went to Tea Bar, which Jayne had never had before, I introduced her to the amazingness of it yayyy~ Now she doesn't know how she lived without it :P

We wandered through and past the shops before finally ending up at City Chic (ironically on our way to actually get lunch). Now, City Chic is the only shop that I will buy clothes from. It's pricy, but targeted at the larger sizes, and I'm in love with the fashions, they're so comfy. I ended up (after trying on a few items) buying jeans which are amazing, and an awesome new top that I am going to marry =D

We then went to places like Sportsgirl, etc etc for more Jayne's side of things. We went to Jay Jays and she bought a dress and a totemo kawaii Hello Kitty bag from there. I ended up buying Paul two shirts: one with Optimus Prime, the other with Bumblebee. We then went to places like Swarovski (everything there was gorgeous), and Igedo. Now, Igedo is normally freaking expensive, I'm talking like hundreds, but they had a $10 rack. Jayne found the cutest dress there, and since she said that she and Gavin were thinking of taking up Latin dancing classes, it would be perfect for it, so after trying it on and finding the right size, she bought it. She had to ask the shop assistant if it was really $10, she really couldn't believe it, it was hilarious xD

Next stop was Shiki in the food court to get some amazing Japanese curry chicken for lunch. Now the serves they give you there are easily enough for two people, so we shared it =] We just talked about random things while we were eating, swapping romantic stories while we ate (Paul vs. Gavin) and the like.

Then we went to go to the CBA ATM cause Jayne needed more money out, then we ducked into Time Zone and did one of those crazy mini photo booth things. Our decorating skills on those were crazy xD So after that we went back downstairs and meandered through Myer for a while before strolling the shops along the pathways again, ending up at Rubi shoes. We both ended up taking advantage of the 2 pairs of shoes for $25 offer. Jayne got a black pair and a red pair, I got a black pair and a silver pair. It was funny because when we got back to her house we discovered that although the red shoes claimed to be the same size as the black, they actually didn't fit right at all. Jayne didn't try the red ones on you see xD So she has 14 days to take them back.

But after that we were pretty tired and finished with the shopping, but on the way out we couldn't resist stopping in at Diva. They had the word sale!! How could we not go in?! But anyway, after that we really did go home to Jayne's. The downside is that when we did decide to leave we were also travelling with allll the freaking homeward bound office traffic. That and I kept hitting like a million and one traffic lights. Red ones, I mean. I wasn't randomly running into traffic light poles xD I mean my car's a tank but I don't think that it could have quite handled that haha.

Anywayyyy. Eventually we got back to Jayne's about 10 minutes before I had to leave again to go and massage Flavia and Mark. So I was sitting on her couch when she discovered the red shoe thing, and stealing her MSN for a few minutes for funnys, when she ended up surprising me by inviting Gavin over suddenly, telling me that she wanted me to meet him and he only lived 2 minutes away so he'd be able to be here soon for a quick visit.

Now this I didn't appreciate too much 'cause I was fully not ready to meet Gavin yet. I'd just been ignoring Jayne for 3 weeks or so, I wanted to re-establish our friendship before getting sucked into the other aspects of it, and her pushing this meeting with Gavin onto me (I couldn't leave and seem rude, plus I will admit I was slightly curious) counted as her pulling me in headfirst into her life again.

But anyway, I met Gavin, he seemed really nice. He was only stopping for a few minutes anyway cause he was off to Westfield to meet some of his mates. And shortly after he left I really had to go otherwise I would be hell late, and that's just not fair on my clients so I departed, leaving Jayne to go to Alex and Eevari's like we were going to do that day to teach Eevari to cook if he had gotten the day off, but he didn't so...

I went and did the massages and came home. I logged in to MSN and was talking to Paul and he said that he was annoyed at me. Now, the night before my big day out with Jayne he had asked me to please be home with enough time before I went to go and do the massages, and I told him that I would try my best, but because of the time that we actually got back from the shops and the whole Gavin thing I didn't end up managing that. So anyway, he told me that he's annoyed with me cause he had a surprise for me when I got home, but it didn't matter now (this is after the massages) because it's too late. So now I'm left achingly curious as to what it was but when I asked him about it he just said "it doesn't matter" and would get kinda angry when I kept asking so I just dropped it. And so that was my Thursday.

The rest of my week went by rather uneventfully. College in the early morning on Friday, followed by coming back to Narangba and heading over to Paul's house for cuddles and games and fun things. Saturday I don't actually remember what I did, I'm fairly certain that I just hung out with Paul watching movies and the like. Monday I worked, Tuesday was college, Wednesday I worked, and I worked most of Thursday as well even though it's my day off.

Why is it it's only really my Thursdays that are eventful?! Because on this Thursday I had to get up and go to work by 10, to find out that Tristan (regional manager and a real twat) was coming in at about 12ish, but he didn't get to work until 1ish, in true Tristan style. Then in the middle of my dad's meeting with him, the phone rang and it was my sister's school, telling me that she was in sick bay with a possibly fractured wrist. So I interrupted dad in his meeting, and he took the call. I ended up going to the school to pick her up while Dad got rid of Tristan, then when I got back he took her down to the conveniently located medical centre next to Red Rooster and got the doctor to have it checked. Then Mum came and got Karlie, and took her to have it x-rayed. I ended up leaving work at about 3:30pm after I was supposed to knock off at 2.

I went over to Paul's to pick him up and bring him over to my house while I did some things, and it was funny, cause we stopped in to Woolworths cause Paul wanted some things, and when we were driving down past the Tavern to my house we see my brother walking behind us a little, just come off the bus and now walking home. So despite instructions from Paul - "just keep going!" - we stopped and picked up my brother and took him home with us. Save him walking in the heat. Gosh it was funny watching him run to catch up with the car. He runs so spastically xD

But anyway, after hanging out at my place for a while, I took Paul home and we watched a movie or two, don't ask me what we watched I was tired and I forget xD Then I went home and had an early night cause I had college early in the morning again.

Last weekend was actually the Tae Kwon Do tournament, and I had Paul and Blair helping me out with the hot food/cold drinks/coffee stalls cause there is no way in hell, with how busy those things get, that one person can do it on their own. Especially the hot food. I was actually a bit nervous about Blair meeting Paul, cause they hadn't yet in the past, but they seemed to actually get along great, so that made the weekend positive. I had a mini breakdown each day cause I wasn't getting very good sleep the nights before each day (Friday night, Blair kept my up with her coughing, and Saturday with her snoring, like seriously, fucking hell...) and I just got so stressed out with all the people and things like that. I'm lucky Paul was there though, cause whenever he could see that I was getting too stressed - it's not hard to tell either, I started snapping at him for stupid things - he'd go and get Mum, who had the worst fucking case of walkabout I've ever seen, and Mum would send both of us off to calm down and have a break for a little while. So we'd just sit out on the little ledges thing that was just across from the hall, hugging and me de-stressing, just talking about things until I was okay. My boyfriend is a legend, I adore him so much. He's very good at calming me down I know now xD

And so the weekend vanished in a flurry of sausages, roast beef, cold drinks and coffees, but in the end I think we had fun. Even I did, despite my breakdowns. After everything was all packed up and cleaned in the hall on the Sunday, and everyone had gone home, Paul, Blair, Karlie, Bradly and I started playing around in the hall. At first it was just Bradley and Paul playing with a roll of electrical tape that they had found randomly - and I somehow ended up taking home =/ - and then Blair joined in, and then Paul went and found a football from some room that he had seen them before, then Karlie joined them. While they played with the football I was just laying on the table relaxing and playing with the electrical tape, laughing as I watched them. Then Paul found a netball in the same room, and we ended up using it as a basketball, and Blair had one of her famous little hissy fits over how we shouldn't bounce a netball, but we didn't care (by this time Bradley had gone home with Dad and I had joined in), we started dribbling and shooting hoops. Paul cheated against me, he grabbed my hand and turned me around, making me lose the ball xD But it was all fun.

So after that we went and dropped Blair home, then on the way home we rang Maria's Fish and Chips and ordered dinner for my family. When we brought it home and after we ate it, Mum and Dad both agreed that it was really good fish and chips, so that made us happy. I ended up taking Paul home at about 10:30 cause I was starting to fall asleep. So I did that and then came home and talked to him for about another half an hour or so before I went to bed.

The rest of my week up until today has passed in it's usual fashion. Work, college, work, and now my day off. It's pay day today too. I have a hairdresser's appointment at 9:45 and then after that Paul and I are going to Morayfield and North Lakes to do a little bit of shopping. Like I need to get Danielle a present for her birthday, and he needs to put money on his lay bys, stuff like that. So today should be a good day, although my hair will be smelly, cause I'm getting it chemically straightened. Ashlea has to do an assessment on it, so I'm her test dummy. It should be fun =D

I'll sign off here, cause I've been blogging for half an hour now and I need to go get ready soon. Hopefully I won't be too lazy to keep this updated in the future. xD

Love

PS: I'm really getting in to my Aromatherapy class lately, I can't wait to start making blends =D

PPS: I started this on the 21st of October, but finished it today, the 29th. The stupid date isn't changing though, so things may not match up with the date, GAH.

Space case!

2009-10-14T17:27:00.000-07:00

I completely forgot! The original point of me doing a blog in the first place was to put down these funny jokes that my friend Justin sent me the other day XD

So here they are:

Confucius say:
Man who run through airport turnaisle backward going to Bangkok.

Confucius say:
Man who leap off talk cliff jump to conclusion.

Confucius say:
Girl who sit in judge's lap get honourable discharge.

Confucius say:
It take many nail to make crib, one screw to fill it.

Confucious say:
Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Confucius say:
To meet girl in park is good. To park meat in girl is better.
(that one made me laugh for AGES)

Confucius say:
Girl who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Confucius say:
War not determine who right. War determine who left.

Confucius say:
If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.

Confucius say:
Man with tool in girl's mouth not necessarily dentist.

Confucius say:
Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
(For those who don't know, a cat house is a brothel)

I have no idea where he got these from, but gosh they made me laugh XD

Confucius say happy fun times and making up;

2009-10-14T16:03:00.000-07:00

Wow, so okay, a LOT has happened since the last time I posted something. I'm getting so lax at this. Maybe it's cause not that much occurs in my life apart from going to college and working, or maybe cause I'm just too lazy to really do this much anymore. Well anyway, I'll fill in on what has happened since then.

Paul and I got back together a couple of days later, after that massive fight in September. I missed him so much, I didn't stop crying all that weekend basically, except for the little reprieves I got when I finally managed to tone it down a bit so I could breathe properly for a little while. The longest that that managed to last - before I remembered the whole sordid affair and start bawling again - was about an hour and a half. But we did work it all out in the end, which I'm really happy with. The thought of losing him hurt so much ='[ But yes, a day or so later we were back together, after many a long conversation and trying to sort it out.

You know the saying "you don't know what you got till it's gone"? Well, that was very true. Not that I underappreciate Paul, I love and appreciate everything he's ever done for me (and that's a lot), but ever since I almost lost him I appreciate him all the more cause I truly know how deeply I feel for him. Gosh I'm a sap. But it's true. He's the sweetest, most adorable, caring guy I've met ever, but he wouldn't want you to know that :P something about keeping up his devilish appearances. Each to their own I suppose, but I still tell people :P

Jayne and I had it out like two alley cats fighting over leftover fish, or catnip, or whichever works better. I talked to her for the better part of a day, and when it became apparent that she wasn't listening and it felt like she wasn't even bothering to understand my point of view - too wrapped up in the fact that Liam had told her that day that he truly didn't love her anymore, something she'd already heard - I ended up telling her that I was so annoyed at her and I didn't want to see or hear from her for a while, 'cause I needed to re-evaluate our friendship.

And that was that. I blocked her on MSN, she respected my wishes and didn't talk to me or show up at my house at all (which, in complete contradiction, made me feel worse/angrier, cause for a brief moment it appeared that she didn't care about our friendship enough to just ignore me and come work it out anyway, but that was just me being silly), and for the better part of 2 or 3 weeks, I forget, We didn't talk.

Now all through this time, I may not have been talking to her, but I did keep reading her blog. I made one post on it one day - I forget which one and what I wrote - and from then on, in came the comments. Now, I do remember this post being an angry one. So obviously I still wasn't ready to talk to her/see her. But she took it the opposite way as I was ready. So, she started commenting on my Facebook again, etc. She was still blocked on MSN so she couldn't talk to me there. Now that really annoyed me, that she just started talking to me again. Although I suppose it is my fault, I put the post there which could be taken as a signal, and then when she started commenting I just chose to ignore her and not tell her that I was still annoyed with her and not ready yet.

So unfortunately - for her - Jayne messaged me at 2am on whatever day it was, to tell me that she was going to BDO (Big Day Out for all you n00bz) and that Muse would be there, and was I going? Now, I slept straight through this and didn't get it until about 8:30am-ish, and by then I was late for work so I just ignored it.

I actually didn't remember about it until later that night when I was telling Paul, and I didn't reply until the next day, telling her off for messaging me when I'm not ready to talk to her yet and not to contact me again, and that no I was not going to BDO (it's a waste of money to me, even if Muse is going to be there). And yet of course she replied to that message didn't she. So I sent a nastier one back and that one she didn't reply to.

So we just carried on as we were for another week(? I'm horrible with time frames) until eventually, I was at Paul's one night and he was doing something, watching a movie I think, and I turned to him and told him that I think I should unblock her, talk to her, see what happens. He told me that if I really wanted to and thought I was ready to deal with her then I should. So I did. While I was at his house, so I had his support. She didn't say a thing the entire time that I was there, so after I said hello, about 15 minutes later, I thanked her for such an awesome talk and logged off cause I was going home cause I had washing to do.

Anyway, I went home, I put my washing on and all that jazz, and turned on my lappy - he's dying, I need to replace him soon ='[ - and logged into MSN. Jayne said hi and whats up and the conversation stopped there for a moment cause I had to go hang my washing out (yes it took her that long to talk again that my washing - which took an hour - was done). And when I got back we started talking, and talking, and talking, going through everything, why I was annoyed at her, how she didn't feel that she had done the things that I had taken as she had, things like that. I just pointed out to her how things she did made me feel like I was inferior to her, cause a lot of times in conversations that actually meant something to me she kept changing the topic and things like that, and that really annoyed me.

Anyway, in the ended we sorted it all out and now we're talking again. We're going shopping today actually, at Chermside. I was going shopping anyway cause I need a new tyre and new clothes and stuff like that, and Jayne wasn't doing anything so she asked if she could come too, so she is.

Oh yeah, that's another thing that's happened. My tyre. Back left one to be specific. Paul and I noticed a little while ago that it was making the weirdest noise when we were driving, and when I voiced my concerns to mum, who the next day told dad, who had a look at it, it turned out there was actually a screw embedded in my tyre. And when we went and pulled the spare out, which I've never touched, and went to attach it, it turns out there's actually a nail embedded in that one. So I have to go to Bob Jane T-Marts or something today to go and get a new one. Cause not only is there a nail in the spare, but it's also completely bald. No treads whatsoever.

So yeah, that happened. What else is going on...

It was Paul and I's 4 month anniversary yesterday. I had to work during the day, but I went over to his house that night, and we had awesome cuddles and kisses before I even got in the door xD I walked up to the front door and knocked, and he must have gone around the side door cause he snuck up behind me and surprised me XD Gosh he's so cute. And then we were outside for about 5 minutes, just hugging and hello kisses and "happy anniversary", it was so adorable. I have to stand on the balls of my feet/almost tippy toes to be on the same level as him, so I was just standing like that, arms around him for support otherwise I'd fall over (I have terrible balance), it's little things like that that make me smile =]

Anyway eventually we went in the house and by this time Bucket (baby budgie, although he's more a toddler now, he's almost ready to fly) was hungry, so after showing me somethings on his computer Paul went to feed him while I just mucked around on his computer checking Facebook etc. Eventually he came back with a now full Bucket, and put him back in his basket fortress. Before Paul had fed Bucket we was huggling and killing bugs that kept landing on him (they come through his window, attracted to the light) so I had wrapped myself up in his blanket to keep the bugs away from me XD

Before the Bucket feeding, we just sat on his bed and cuddled while watching snippets of Shoot 'em Up, which I wouldn't mind seeing all of. It looked good.

After Bucket was fed we decided to have fish and chips for tea, which may sound kind of lame for an anniversary dinner, but seriously, this fish and chip store he showed me, it's like freaking catnip for clones! It's soooooooooooo good. So we went out and got that, and on the way through stopped at my house and picked up X-Men Origins: Wolverine (which I had forgotten to bring with me the first time), then went back to his house and nommed our delicious food while watching the movie. When we were both done eating we just lay on his bed cuddling and watching the rest of it.

After the movie was over Paul did something, while I stole his computer (I needed to sit up, I was getting sleepy) and played some Peggle. Peggle is awesome fun. XD Then we switched and I laid on the bed all curled up while he went and saw his brother who had just gotten home and then went and created a character for the new Dragon Age Origins game that he's getting soonish. I actually fell asleep while he was doing that =/ So he woke me up and told me to go home, I didn't want to, cause that would mean that the night was over, but I was very tired and I couldn't stay there cause he had to get up early this morning. So I went home.

I'm staying with him tomorrow night though. I miss him lots even though it hasn't even been 12 hours, but I see him tomorrow so it's all okay =]

Anyway I better finish here, that's about all I can think of for now, plus I might have a nap before I go out =D

Peace
<3

Fighting;

2009-10-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

I got sunburnt yesterday, while playing in the pool with Paul and Eevari. It was fun. I actually didn't notice the burn until later that night. Actually Paul was the one who pointed it out -thinking face-

Anyway that's hardly the point. Tonight I had a bath to try and take some of the sting out of it, and in the end I was so hungry (hadn't had dinner yet, and this is at like 9pm) that I was feeling generally like crap so I dragged myself out and downstairs to go get some food (greek yoghurt yumm).

So I'm just happily eating away, watching Good News Week on the T.V. in the room adjacent when Mum asks me what my brother could possibly do for his neck, as he hurt it at training tonight. Now, given the location and time frame since the injury, I told him to do the one thing that I could at the current point in time.

Now in hindsight I could have asked a couple more questions like what did you do, where is it specifically, etc, but reality is, I'm not a doctor. I'm a freaking massage therapist who had to have an advanced knowledge of anatomy cause of all those damned Anatomy & Physiology classes. But I digress.

So I tell him to ice it. For 20 minutes, twice a day, for the next 3 days. That's all I can do with a fresh injury, and then Mum just starts going apeshit at me. Things like "you give nothing back!" and "why do I bother paying you're school fees? I'll just take him to a fucking doctor!" were said. And that post-bath relaxed high I had going? Gone. All thanks to my mother thinking I know everything and can work it all out.

In the end? He didn't end up icing it. He's just gone to put on PJs apparently, or go to bed, one of the two. I just saw him come down the stairs so either he's gone to whinge about his neck or he isn't going to bed yet. And also now Mum's shitty at me cause she thinks I don't do anything, when in reality I just did the one thing that I could considering how recent he hurt it. Oh but of course she didn't listen to me when I said that.

I really hate fighting, and I hate feeling like I'm useless cause I've done all I can and it's just not enough. I hate that my mother thinks that since I've started studying this I'm some sort of superhuman who knows where it's sore through intuition and knowing what the most common injuries are.

So right now I'm feeling kind of down, cause pretty much all I heard from Mum's little tirade at me was "you're useless, why did I bother paying for you to study there?" You can imagine how great that makes me feel...

Fighting's pointless isn't it? All it is is angry words that half the time you don't even mean, and the other half is you forcing your thoughts onto someone without listening to theirs in return. I've had enough fighting in my life, between what happened a couple of weeks ago and my mother being so gorram hot-headed. (Yes, gorram. Watch Firefly, you'll understand then).

I don't want to fight anymore, but I know that it's just inevitable because you could be the sweetest person in the world, and yet eventually you'll clash with someone. It could be over something completely trivial, or some big belief that you are willing to martyr yourself for, point is you will clash. You don't know if it'll be with a stranger, or your best friend, but it will happen.

Angry words. Hurtful words. Words designed to make the other person feel like absolute shit. That's all a fight is. I wish I lived in my happy place where there were no fights, no stress and the world didn't revolve around money. I actually sometimes wish that we lived back in the old days where we didn't just press a button and get what we want, but then I'm a complete hypocrite cause I look at my PS2 and my DVD player and can't help but think that I'd die without them.

How weird would it be to live in the times when there were blood feuds? And I don't mean Romeo and Juliet crap, I mean real blood feuds. Where two people (or families) despise each other so much that they do anything possible to ruin the other. That would be such a horrible time.

Anyway, I've rambled on too much. I'm pretty tired already from my bath and the one-sided arguement with Mum didn't help my mood at all. I might go watch some Code Geass or Strawberry Panic! to cheer me up. Ooo maybe Digimon =D We were watching that while floating in the pool yesterday. I forgot how cute they were.

Peace
<3

Death on a spatula being spoon fed intravenously;

2009-09-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

Well, last night was possibly the most interesting/worst night I've had in a very long time...

Shall I list the events?

1) Paul commented on Jayne's blog, and ended up being ganged up on.
2) everyone started getting up me for what he wrote.
3) it got very ugly.
4) I exploded at all of them, going on a massive rant.
5) Paul broke up with me.
6) I stayed up until 3am crying and refusing to talk to any of them except for Paul and Chad.

So there it is in a nutshell. It's a chain of events that has been coming for a very long time. But...I wasn't expecting #5. It hurt so much when he said it. I've had a 7 hour sleep and the first thing that happened when I woke up was think about it and start crying again. I get the feeling that this is going to be a very sad weekend...but I should start at the beginning...

Jayne posted a blog about her past week, which involved the events of Tuesday. Now in that blog, she both didn't even bother to mention that she had ruined our day - her circumstances aside, read it in my other blog - and also there was no apology. Now, she had apologised to me previously, but it was over Facebook so I'm not too sure I should be counting it. However, she's refusing to apologise to Paul, who is just as affected - again, read my other blog - by what happened that day. Which is something I don't consider unreasonable, I mean if you're going to apologise to one party for a ruined day surely it's even just courtesy to apologise to the other...

But anyway, Paul saw that she hadn't even bothered to apologise to him in that blog or at all, so he went nuts. He picked her up on the fact that she left out the part of ruining our special day together, and how she was oblivious to other people's feelings and how she should think of how she treats others etc etc. For the full fight go to http://www.darkslinky.com/ (it's in the comments for the blog "The ice-cream fiend should have stayed in bed") - I'm only picking parts out of it that are needed to explain last night.

But I digress. Now Jayne's reply with an obviously -thinks of the word- ach I cant think of it, either way she didn't mean it, "sorry". And then started going on about how things don't always turn out the way that they're planned etc etc. Basically the rest is just in retaliation to each other.

Now before this really happened Chad and Paul had a long conversation about why he and Jayne were so antagonistic to each other, which came about because of the first comments on the blog (Chad's an authoriser(? I can't think of the word for that either) on her website, he can control the run of comments that are posted on there). So I added Paul into a conversation with Chad and let him explain himself. Mistake number one. I mean sure Chad tried his best to understand his point..but...I dunno, I can't help but feel that he just didn't get it at all...

Anyway, later on when things were starting to get really antagonistic over the blog and Alex was going off at me for what he said, so in my frustration I added Paul into the conversation with him and told him to talk to Paul about it. Mistake number two. So Paul started talking to Alex, and they tried to get me into the conversation to help explain his side. I was officially so over all the fighting that I refused and told them "Don't you dare drag me into this conversation, I want no part of this". Mistake number three.

I honestly thought I was doing the right thing, letting him explain himself and not having me jumping in there and getting facts wrong and ending up just doing more damage...but soon after I say that in the Alex/Paul convo I get another message...from Paul...
"Me + convo = annoyed at you"...
For two reasons. First cause I didn't warn him that I was adding him into a conversation with Alex, and the second cause what I said in that conversation appeared to him as me refusing to defend him and me choosing Jayne over him. Now I don't want to make a decision at all, but I guess that life doesn't always work out the way that they planned.

After that the conversation between Paul and I just went downhill...
[with improved grammar, here's snippets of how the conversation degraded:]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul:
no offence, i seriously feel like breaking up with you
so you can be sad and un-happy with jayne, ur wifie
u seriously will choose her over me in the end
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul:
hun, i know u.
but honestly u told me in the way u say things,u care about jayne more then me
why? by shoving in my face that she is ur wifie
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul:
hunie, u have been stabbing me with a knife and that thin just then made it worse
Who the fuck do you think u are?
letting some randomi was helping u with stab me with a knife
when he doesn't know the full story and then not evening defending me when u know the story and u were a 3rd party
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Paul:
yeah, well, he wouldn't listen
so know it's him and alex (jayne is the him) againest me.
how do you think i feel?
i feel fucked, thanks a fucking lot.
i love u

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
but...

Paul:
but half as much as i did
that hurt me 2 say it, but it's true
hunie, no offence, but until it's sorted
i'm going 2 have 2 break up with u
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And there it was. We broke up, and I spent the rest of the night crying...oh and during this entire conversation that lead to this, I've been going ape shit at Alex, Jayne and Chad. I also added Paul into it in case he had anything to add..

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
THATS IT. ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN.
alex

X1:
Roger that

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
he tried explaining to you, you say you kept going off the facts. facts arent emotion and emotion hurts more

Chad:
This will be interesting.

X1:
('lo Chad )

Chad:
Shh. She's typing.

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
jayne. both of you grow the fuck up. you've both hurt each other in the past, you're as bad as each other, and i am so effing sick of you two acting like 4 year olds! eloquent 4 year olds but 4 year olds nonetheless

Jayne-kun:
"shove it up your raped ass hole"

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
i
said
shut
the
fuck

Jayne-kun:
= unforgiveable.

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
up

Chad:
You know your status is set to away.. but you're not away..

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
chad, no real quarrell with you. completely irrelevant that point. you've been playing both sides of the fence and while you did give paul an honest shot at explaining his sideyou're still not getting it

Chad:
Go on..

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
i am extremely torn between my boyfriend and my best friend here, who've been at war from the beginning of some fucking retarded thing on a website. you each have your own opinions over what happened, but can you not agree to disagree here?! like for fucks sake! i am shaking im so fucking pissed at all of you. yes i swear when i get pissed. deal.
what chad?

Chad:
I said, how am I not getting it?

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
prove to me that you ARE getting it and i'll take back my comment.

Chad:
He explained that he's cut due to all this, especially tuesday, however he proceeds to talk like a 5 year old with his comments.

X1:
(I'll wait for my turn, use the tele-prompter or do a barrell roll and I'll jump in.)

Chad:
Alex did you get my private message?

X1:
I did Ssh, not the time (<3)

Chad:
okay >_>

X1:
Look, seriously though.I've come into this, I'm the newbie.
I have no idea whats gone on the past. Just the present, and whats been laid out in front of me. when I tried to probe into the past with the conversation with Paul just before, when contradictions arose he raged and went nutso.

Paul:
UR ALL JUST A BUNCH OF KUNTS....THANKS ALOT.....WE BROKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paul has left the conversation.

Chad:
Oh wow.That's not good.

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
thanks guys. problem solved.

X1:
What I'm currently seeing at this point are aggressive posts by both Paul AND Jayne, but the violence is coming from Paul.

X1:
This sucks.

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
of course it is, he's male, its all he knows how to defend himselfso i hope you're all happy.

X1:
Moni, I'm male. I'm pretty sure after a feel up, Chad's male

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
i meant male male

X1:
We're not all that completely defensive

ღ мσиι - just wants it all to stop ღ ♫Broken like an angel♫:
out of touch with emotions fully male

X1:
Male male is just an excuse for something.

Chad:
Alex.

X1:
Chaddums?

Chad:
Shh.

X1:
Apologies.
I don't do emotions too well, its why I left sales.Facts are facts to me, emotions are based around them and warp them.

Chad:
This coming from the guy that wanted to sleep inbetween Jayne and Moni the other night >_>

X1:
but who *did* have his head on Jayne's buttocks and Lynette's leg over him. But this is hardly the time or the place..
Moni, I'm honestly sorry that it came to that, but if he couldn't deal with a situation like an adult then it was bound to happen at some point.
Whether it means anything or not, we're all still here, and think absolutely no less of you.

Jayne-kun:
he just threatened to damage my car... published on the internet

X1:
Save the conversation if you can

Chad:
Now.. are we talking a scratch.. or to ram it..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Such caring friends I have aren't they? I bring them into this conversation to try and sort it out, and they just either completely ignore me, going on talking about their own shit [Chad and Alex], or start talking about their own problem instead of trying to work on this one [Jayne].

Right now I am talking to Jayne about it, and we're getting a lot out there that I've held hidden for a very long time. It's good to finally get this all out there, although she's doing her avoidance technique again. I'm refusing to let her though. I'll keep her on topic cause this is something that needs to be sorted out, one way or another.

As for Chad & Alex, I'll deal with them when they get home.
I'm really feeling rather empowered, considering how dizzy I am...
I don't want to lose Paul forever, we're still talking, so I hope that we can sort all of this out.
<3

Dizzy sim killing extreme surprising cheese and wine;

2009-09-25T01:06:00.000-07:00

Mew~
I'm sooooo dizzy. Had a crazy few days since Tuesday, nothing really epic though..
Well...except that I have A MIDDLE EAR INFECTION!
Deeeeeeath on a stick force fed with a spatula. Speaking of which I'm rather hungry...
I'm on Stemzine though, it's basically the generic brand of Stematil, which I had prescribed to help with my constant dizziness, which is a result of my equilibrium being all out of whack xD

Omg, Alex and I came up with the best idea tonight. Who's up for a cheese & wine party?? =D I wanted to make it a wine, cheese and spa party, you know, make it really fancy, but then I remembered that to my knowledge none of us actually own a spa haha. But yeah, so I'll talk to Jayne about it when she gets back from the movies xD We're both cheese fiends so I hope she'll love it xD

I had to work today...can you imagine how fun that was? -sarcasm- All I did realistically was sit either on the teller chair in front of the desk, at the enquiries desk leaning against the wall to keep from getting dizzy, or on the floor out the back to escape the dangerously teetering (or was that my dizzy brain?) teller chair. I served a few customers, oh my goodness even counting the money made me so dizzy...so basically after a few attempts at working around the dizziness I just gave up and did the enquiries until I got too dizzy for that then I went out back to very slowly count cash haha (if I counted it too fast my head would spin). So that was my fun day at work.

Oh my goodness, yesterday afternoon I had a nap from roughly 12:30pm - 4pm. It was the best nap ever and of course induced by my pills that have the side effect of making me drowsy. But yeah, I woke up to my phone ringing, but by the time I woke myself up and picked up my phone I'd missed the call. I waited for the person to ring back (turns out that was the fourth time that they had rung), but that took ages so I replied to the message that I had from Paul. About 2 minutes after the same number rang again. So I answered it, and the Indian-accenty voice rang clear:
"Hello, I am Swarmi from Optus, I was wondering if you would like to purchase a mobile phone." So I say no and hang up. Now shortly after that and on my way to the bathroom the same number rings me again. Turns out that it was actually Paul xD Ringing me from his nana's house, just relaxing after mowing her lawn for her. So we talk for a few minutes and hang up, then I go to watch Las Vegas for an hour or so.

Next thing I know my phone is ringing again, and it's Paul's mobile this time.
Me: "Hello?"
Paul: "Hi honey! Guess what!"
Me: "What?"
Paul: -knocks 3 times on the door-
Me: -goes to answer it-

Yes, my gorgeous boyfriend had surprised me by coming over and looking after me =] He's so adorable. A couple of hours later he went and bought us dinner, and ended up staying the night.

I ended up not getting to sleep until about 2:30am for the pure fact that I just couldn't sleep. It was weird. I tried really hard to but just couldn't.

But anyway. I already told you about my working adventure so... I'm thinking I should go to bed soon =]

<3

Chicago krump wine and total misery;

2009-09-21T02:18:00.000-07:00

The past 5 days have been the largest conflict of emotions ever. The weekend was a barrel of laughs and good times, but the past two days have been bubbling over with happiness, stress, sadness and selfishness. It's enough to make a girl go mental..

Friday:

I went to college, up at 6am blah blah the usual. I got home at about 1pm from that, went home and prepped to go over to my friend Jayne's place, cause she was feeling a bit sad, and we wanted to have a girly weekend. So like I said I would I text Jayne and see if she's ready for me to come over and she tells me that Evan is there - Evan is Alex's brother, a mutual friend of ours - and that they're going to have a little chat so would I mind waiting? I told her I didn't and that she should just message me in some way when she's ready, as I settled back to watch Las Vegas while I waited.

She texted me about half an hour later posing the idea of a little shopping trip - Evan coming with us of course - just to kill a little bit of time and to get a few essentials for the night ahead (tissues, wine, the basics xD). So I went over there immediately - already being packed and waiting as I was - and we just sat at her house talking for a bit, then all three of us headed out to Strathpine shops and just made our way around for a bit. Evan offered to pay for us to see a movie, but we declined in the way to go to North Lakes Dan Murphy's to pick up some wine. We also went to Big W to get tissues and the like.

So after that we headed back to Jayne's, with the wine, tissues, fudge and chips that we'd bought xD And by this time, the time we get back, it's about dinner time, so we ponder what we should have for a while, and eventually we decided that we had enough junk food to act as our dinner. Evan left shortly after that.

After Evan left Jayne and I debated to try and kidnap Lynnette, which we did end up doing. Then we watched what is possibly the most random movie I have ever seen. It's called The Onion Show or something like that. It was funny as hell though. And all the while the three of us are drinking wine and eating fudge xD

So after the movie we just decided (I don't recall how the decision came about) to put some music on and dance. Now we did this for a great many hours, and all I really remember that in the process we:
~ broke a glass onto Jayne's carpet rug, rolled up the rug and put it outside.
~ invited Alex over, who ended up staying the night and brought chocolate vodka.
~ tried to teach Alex to dance, quite unsuccessfully.
~ tried krumping, as shown to us by Chad on webcam before xD
~ had a huge bundle of fun.

We had so much fun that night, I'm not even quite sure how it ended up being that Alex came over xD I do remember Jayne calling him a cheeseburger at one point xD We finished it off by all laying on the floor on the mattresses, Jayne and I laying together, and Alex laying comfortably laying over Lynnette's leg with his head resting on her arse and watching Chicago. Gosh that was a good movie. And oh my goodness it was hilarious. Lynnette fell asleep during the movie, and when Alex shuffled to get more comfortable she put her other leg across him. Of course he didn't complain but oh we laughed for a long time. So after that Jayne went to bed and Lynnette had moved to the couch, so Alex and I fell asleep on the floor after talking for a while and an incident where my poking his leg with my toe, almost went a bit too far up the leg xD Ahhh fun drunken times.

Saturday:

Lynnette had work at 12pm, and Alex had to leave at around 11/12ish to go get ready for work also, so Alex set his phone alarm for 10am. We ended up waking each other up (Alex, Lynnette and I) when Lynnette's phone rang at about 8:30. Apparently - and completely contrary to what we thought - Lynnette started work that day at 8:30, not 12. So she quickly rang her workplace to confirm, and it was true so she ran home (she lives about 5 minutes away from Jayne) to get to work in a hurry.

After that, Alex and I tried to get back to sleep for another hour or so, but that didn't really work too well so we just lay around talking, being comfortable, playing with Marsypan (Jayne's dog) and poking. Alex then eventually rang his brother to come pick him up (Alex doesn't have his licence) so that he could get ready for work. His brother took about half an hour to arrive, so until then we just talked. Eventually (half an hour later by estimate) Evan arrived and took Alex away, so it was just me and Marsypan.

I just lay there playing with the dog for a while, waiting for Jayne to wake up, but instead I just ended up putting on Scrubs season 7 (which I had bought the day before when we went shopping with Evan) and just watching that until she woke up.

When she finally did, we just lazed around watching it and she had a little nap and stuff before we both officially got up xD We went and made a sandwich, watched the rest of Scrubs season 7, Jayne did stuff on her comp for a while - MSN and the like - while I helped by packing up the mattresses and cleaining up the food packets and empty bottles etc for her before I left to go to Paul's. I offered to help with the carpet I broke (yes it was my fault) on, but she said just to leave it, so I had a shower and left.

Now Paul was at Bribie Island visiting family Friday night/most of Saturday, so when I pulled up (I had my window down) he came running out and literally tried to climb in through my window xD It was so cute I missed him so much. I was so happy to see him xD Now all through this I was extremely hungover and feeling sleepy (we actually didn't go to bed until about 5am that morning, so waking up at 8:30 was a bit harsh), so we just hung out in his room watching things until I was finally so sleepy I wanted a nap.

Now this was at roughly 6/6:30pm. I think the first time I woke up it was 10pm, but by this time Paul was curled up behind me so I just rolled over, and fell back asleep cuddling him. Next time I woke up it was 4:30am-ish. By that time I'd slept for 10 hours or so and couldn't sleep anymore, neither of us could, so we just got up and stayed up xD

Sunday:

We just talked and watched things on TV and cuddled until about 7ish, when we went and cooked breakfast - which was really the dinner we had prepped for the night before but didnt eat cause we slept - and then we had a mini nap while cuddling.

Now we actually made an effort to get up at 11/11:30 cause it was the day that he was meeting my parents. Meaning both of us were having lunch with them. Lasagne was the plan, and we just sat around talking to them for a while before retreating to my room and watching movies.

My parent's liked him, which I was happy about. He lent my brother (and my mother by default but he didn't know this) Gears of War on 360 and now they're addicted, so he's won my mum over, and Dad seemed to like him so all is well.

Monday:

I worked. That's about all I did with my day. But that night - after massaging the client I had - I went back over to Paul's to stay the night cause we had a day of fun planned to make up for us not doing anything last week on our actual anniversary =]

But that night something happened, I'm kind of unable to explain it properly. As far as I can clearly remember, Evan (Alex's brother) had just randomly driven off (and fast) from their house, saying "I fucked it up". His destination? Jayne's house. Now that set Alex right off. Because apparently he has reasons not to trust Evan - but nothing too bad or anything womanising, I asked - and so the fact that he had just gone off to Jayne's worried him. It worried Chad (another mutual friend) too. I was just talking to Jayne but somehow I became mediator for their worries for I was the only one Jayne was replying to.

So anyway, I was actually up until about 1:30am trying to help them piece together what was going on and reassuring them that nothing was wrong, they were just talking, cause the next day was the 22nd, her anniversary with her now ex, so she needed company and Evan needed someone to talk to after what happened (which we found out in the end was a fight with his best mate). But anyway. I finally went to bed satisfied that she was alright and after convincing two worried males of that point.

Tuesday:

Today. Meant to be Paul and I's special day out turned to nightmare. We woke up on time, we worked out what we were going to do, we went out, all was going well. We were having fun. We went to EB Games, got Paul's special edition pack of Halo 3:ODST which came out today, and he needed a new hard drive for his computer which we went to Brendale to get before we went to Morayfield Shopping Centre.

So like I said, we got his copy of ODST, and were on our way for me to do my bit of girly shopping (I needed new bras what can I say?), he had stopped at Allphones to get credit and stuff, I had checked out Game on my way past, and we had caught up again at Bras N Things. He managed to last a whole 10 minutes, I was so proud xD Then I carried on shopping on my own (in that store, it makes him nervous, it was so cute xD).

But anyway, I'm in the store, in the middle of trying one on when a distressed Alex calls me. Now normally Alex and I resort to phone calls only if the amount to be communicated is too much. So he rings, and I answer, and he's angsty again because once again Evan is over at Jayne's house, and Alex is feeling more and more like Jayne is replacing him with his brother, because Evan has the resources to be there (meaning he can drive) if he's needed, and I can understand that. When I asked Jayne about it, she said that "he makes me happy" and that "he's being silly".

Now Alex wasn't being silly, it was how he reacted to the situation and in my opinion that is never silly, it's human. I managed to close off my part as messenger between the two of them and get them to talk about it (and that took the entire day out and a bit of conversation on MSN to do in the end -sigh-). But in the process I effectively neglected Paul on our special day out =[ And apparently there was a special dinner surprise as part of it, so I told Jayne (who I had rescheduled my massage to go and check up on) that I felt terrible for neglecting him, cause this day was special to us and yet I'd spent all day effectively trying to help sort out her crap with Alex for her, so I'd be staying at his place and having dinner with him.

Well, she didn't take that well. I didn't realise that it would hurt her so much that I would want to spend time with my boyfriend considering how I didn't really on the day out that we'd arranged, instead spending most of my time helping her out...-sigh- but I stuck to it, I never did go over there. It didn't make me feel the best doing that to her, but I had to make it up to Paul. Especially since working out all her stuff (or trying to) ruined our happy day out...

So we had our lovely dinner and watched some CSI. It's getting really interesting. It bored me at first.

Anyway. Bed time I think.
Geez this post is massive.

What Every Woman Should Have;

2009-09-21T01:36:00.000-07:00

My grandmother bought me this book for my 19th birthday, and it is just so true.
So I'm going to share it. In case I ever lose it (God forbid), I will always have a record of it.

What Every Woman Should Have ~ Herter Studio;

Every woman should have:

One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to,

and one who reminds you of how far you've come.

Enough money within your control to move out and rent a place on your own,

even if you never want to...or need to.

Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.

A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.

A youth you're content to move beyond.

A past juicy enough that you are looking forward to retelling it in your old age.

The realization that you are going to have an old age,

and some money set aside to help fund it.

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, a black lace bra.

One friend who always makes you laugh,

and one who lets you cry.

A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.

8 matching plates, wine glasses with stems,

and a recipe for a meal that will make your guests feel honoured.

A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.

A feeling of control over your destiny.

A skin care regime, an excersie routine, and a plan...

for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better.

A solid start on:

~ A satisfying career

~A satisfying relationship

and all those other facets of life that do get better.

Every woman should know:

How to fall in love without losing yourself.

How you feel about having kids.

How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend,

without ruining the friendship.

When to try harder, and when to walk away.

How to kiss a man in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.

How to ask for what you want in a way that makes it most likely you'll get it.

How to have a good time at a party you'd never choose to attend.

That you can't change the width of your hips, the length of your calves, or the nature of your parents.

That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.

What you would and wouldn't do for love or money.

How to live alone, even if you don't like it.

Who you can trust, who you can't, and why you shouldn't take it personally.

Where to go - be it your best friend's kitchen table or a charming inn hidden in the woods - when your soul needs soothing.

What you can and can't accomplish in: a day, a month, a year.

Why they say life begins,

right now.

Insane friends and horrible mornings;

2009-09-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

Ugh. I have had the worst morning. Although considering it, the day ended up fairly well.

So at roughly...10:00/10:30am, my friend, her mum and the tag-a-long she's obtained come into my workplace. I work with my mother, so after I do the transaction that she wanted, the mother requests to speak with my mother.

Now immediately I have a rough idea of what this is about. For you see last night I was at my boyfriend's place and received a text message from my friend highlighting the lack of return of a DVD. Now a few minutes later I also received a message saying she found it. But we still replied to her first one apologising for not responding sooner as we were "having couple times under the covers" which to us means cuddling under the blanket. But to them obviously means more then that. -sigh-

Anyway, so my friend, the tag-a-long and her mum go into the spare office to talk, and I'm outside for about 2 minutes until mum calls me in too. She puts me on the spot immediately by quickly paraphrasing what they were talking about, and then asking me to explain Paul's side. Now, when I get put on the spot I freeze. And that's exactly what happened. My mind hit pause, I couldn't think, I just couldn't do anything. Then mum went to serve a customer, leaving me alone in there with her mum claiming that they were going to take a court order out against him etc etc.

==discontinued until the morning; it's 2am==

==recontinued at 12:05pm next day==

I needed sleep. I was so tired xD

Anyway where was I? Oh yes. The court order claims and how I froze.

Well, in my panic I offered to ring my boyfriend and let him explain his side of the story. So I did, trying to get to his mobile first, but that just went straight to message bank so I rang his home phone number. His mum answered the phone so I asked to speak to him. The poor bugger was actually still asleep when I rang to talk to him about this. So he said herro and I said herro then mum took the phone off me and started talking to him about how she had an upset mother of my friend here and what was going on. She talked to him about that for a little while, then after saying that the two of them (my friend and my boyfriend) don't have to like each other, but they should act like the grown ups they are and just leave each other alone.

So after that mum hung up the phone and started talking again to my friend, the tag-a-long and her mum. Basically the conversation (although it was more like a monologue cause just mum was talking) went something like this:

"Okay, I've just talked to him and I know that there is a history between these two here, but if they can both just agree to leave each other alone, they don't have to like each other and I do understand that considering their past I doubt that they will. But, if they can both be grown ups and let this go, and just leave it alone, then we'll move on. Now I've told him that if he does do it again I won't be able to stop you calling the cops, by all means do, but I can see that there is instigation on both sides."

Now, you should have seen my friends face when mum said that she knew that there was history between the two of them (and there has been). Now up to this point her face was like "yessss Paul's getting into trouble". It immediately changed to "oh fuck please dont say anything more". So this lead both my mother and I to believe that her mother actually didnt know the entire story. Which is fine, if my friend decides to only tell her mum the half story, unlike my mother who I tell the whole story to, it's her choice.

The other thing that was great was how my friend's mother was going off over the notion of me having sex (implied by the message we meant cuddles by), and then she turns around and claims to know of a certain set of risque pictures that my friend sent my now boyfriend before I even met him. For you see she actually did want to get with him at one point. But I digress. I laugh at how her mother dared to be so high and mighty about me when her daughter is just as bad. Honestly it is just so laughable.

Anyway, after mum had her monologue I had to go out to serve customers so I don't know what else was said, but I didn't really want to go back in there. But of course mum called me back in to go say bye. I had to hug them. A task which at the time was a chore to me cause I couldn't believe they had the audacity to come into my work place and shoot us up with this crap.

But anyway, it's all sorted now, I just needed to vent a little. Get it off my chest. Again. I've already talked to two people about this including my boyfriend, but I've decided I'd love a record of this in case it flares up in future. And I am honestly expecting it to. I have told Paul though that if he does receive any more messages/emails/facebook messages that are nasty in any way, to pass them onto me and I will go deal with it. He's promised me he'll leave it up to me. This could be a big responsibility. Let's see how I go with it if anything should happen shall we?

The letter;

2009-09-08T03:39:00.000-07:00

Baby,

I love you so much. You're my world. Our weekends together make me so happy, and I miss you so much during the week it hurts.

I love how you make me smile at your stupid jokes, how you always speak your mind, although when it's in relation to me it makes me sulk 'cause the way you say it (whatever it may be) makes me feel insecure and like I'm really not good enough for you. It makes me sad when I feel like that 'cause I want you to have nothing but the best girlfriend.

Of course you say sorry and reassure me, and make me feel loved with your claims that you don't want perfection and you love my size etc, but I can't help but think that you deserve so much better than me.

Especially with the way I've been lately, I've been so cranky and sad, and I only really smile when I'm with you anymore. I don't know what it is, whether I'm just so over-tired or there's something deeper that I've hidden within my psyche that is coming back to bite me.

I really do need to work on my opening up, which I am trying to do, but it's so hard. For example i actually try to tell you things, but you cut me off, like the time we went to Bay Chicken, you just cut me off completely, so you tell me to open up and then you just stop me, That really hurts when you do that, especially considering how hard it actually is for me to open up. And of course you're so talkative that you are impossible to interrupt.

Like with my current "situation". I thought to tell you, but how was I supposed to even bring that sort of stuff up?!

Yesterday when you told me that you flirted with Katie, remember how I went silent and stopped answering you? I was jealous. I couldn't help it, I was. And it hurt me when you said that cause I am petrified of screwing up and losing you. Yep. At the moment that's the thing I fear the most.

Anyway, I just wanted to write down a few of my feelings before I explode. For some reason I just can't express this to you in words.

I love you~

Eternally,
M.

Is worrying useless?

2009-09-02T06:11:00.000-07:00

So. Right now I am in the middle of what is possibly my worst worry-fest ever.

It started on the 23rd of August. It is now the 2nd of September. It has now been over a week, and yet I'm still bleeding. Googling this thing has not given me much hope for a positive prognosis when I'm finally able to go to the doctor.

Oh yeah! I can't go to the doctor. Cause I have to work 6 days a week for the full 8 hours on weekdays and 3 hours on a Saturday. Why? Cause my family is away in New Zealand. For two weeks. They're due back on the 6th. Lets hope I don't manage to bleed out in this time shall we?

So naturally I'm powering on between the stresses of work, and the things that have been happening between one of my friends, her boyfriend and my boyfriend. The friend story is one for another time, I'm too busy worrying about this to give a rats arse about that right now.

So anyway, here's the lovely discussion between my friend and I (different friend, not the one that I'm having issues with):

Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
whats wrooong
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
i worried cause i dont think its natural to not have one's period for two months and then bleed for almost two weeks
and i cant go to the doctor cause they run the same as bank hours and i cant get away from work cause my parents are on holiday
so i have to do most everything
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
D;X____XNyaa call your mum a bout it?
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
it's 1am there honey
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
._.
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
she's in new zealand
they're two hours ahead
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
well call her later then? X)XX_X*
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
i dont want to disrupt her holiday
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
surely you could get a few hours off to see a doctor?or skip a uni day to see a doctor? D:
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
i dont have a uni day! i'm at work 6 days a week, all 8 hours and no i cant
cause the other teller is only a trainee and cant do anything credit card or foreign exchange and the relief manager only knows how to do loans
she doesnt even answer the fucking phone when both me and the other girl are busy
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
i smell unqualification -_-
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
oh no, apparently thats normal for people trained for a boq managerial position and its bullshit
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
x__X
you wont ruin your mum's holiday by calling <3
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
she's back on sunday
i'll just have to wait until then
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
T___T*cuddle*everything will be okay moni!
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
oh and to make it worse im getting a cold
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
sometimes periods are wierd, right? D;
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
but they shouldnt be this weird honey
yes its normal for them to miss for a few months
shit i just yelled at paul for no reason
i hate myself when i worry
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
just try to calm down a bit Moni ._. <33It'll all be fine!
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
calm down, now there's the impossible
Tomi ★ Lovely : synthetic.:
._.I sowwy.*cuddle*
ღ мσиι ღ ♫Tear myself up, start again with a brand new name..♫:
i just want my mum tomi
paul's at his house and cant drive so he cant get here
my aunty would be sound asleep

So as you can see it's party central here...
I can't wait for my mum to get back and get a huge mum hug.
And then go to the doctor.
Stupid Google, tells me only bad, horrible things like "go to your GP" and "see your doctor ASAP".
Unfortunately my ASAP isn't for another 5 days.
That's a whole 'nother working week!!

I've gone through a whole half box of tissues.
Isn't that adorable. I haven't cried this much since...well last night but shhhh.
Jesus christ superstar I hope it's just stress, cause if it's not, the first thing I'm going to break down. Paul suggested I have tattooed on my forehead (in case I bleed out and pass out) "if I pass out, call my bf."
Personally I think I should have "if I pass out, call 000, then my aunt, then my bf, and if the above people are uncontactable, then call my mum"
It's a bit lengthy, but it gets teh point across.

I'm so tired. Sunday please come along and hurry to me, for I need you so.
Paul's being amazing, although a bit of a worry wart, but hey, there's cause.

I'm going to try sleep.
Goodnight.

22nd of August, 2009.

2009-08-21T14:18:00.000-07:00

07:19am

My family left today for their two week trip to New Zealand. It's actually really quiet in the house right now. So I'm here cuddling Mushy and wondering how I'm going to be able to handle 3 weekends on my own. Only the weekends cause the manager that we've gotten in to cover for Dad lives in Mt. Gravatt so she's staying here so she doesn't have such a big commute through the week.

Paul's still sick and I don't know how long it's going to take him to get better, so I'm just going to have to try and plan for spending weekends on my own unless I get people to come over or something...that could work too...hmmm...anyway I digress. He's still sick-ish but he's been feeling better, so I'm going over there this afternoon/tonight hopefully and we'll see how he goes. I miss him so much ='[ So hopefully I do get to see him today.

I have to work this morning. And then for 6 days a week for the next two weeks. But this morning I'll be working with Sarah (who recently went on maternity leave and had her baby, but is coming on Saturdays to play supervisor) and Deb, our newbie. The next two weeks will definitely be make or break for her, she still gets nervous doing little things and asks for help, so hopefully by the end of the two weeks she'll be a pro =D That's what we're aiming for anyway.

I hope Sarah brings in baby Jayden to work with her today. Mum's such a bitch she actually rigged it so that the day Sarah brought him in to show to her (makes him sound like a trophy really doesn't it...but mum literally just goes gaga over babies haha), was a day that I was at uni. And I've seen pictures and he looks adorable. It's so funny though, cause they told her that her baby was undersized, and it turned out that he was 7lb something and 52cm!!!!! How crazy is that?! Stupid doctors. xD

It's slightly scary having this big house to myself...I mean like, what am I going to do with it? At most I'll probably only use -thinks and counts- 5 rooms at best?? And we have abouuuuut -thinks again- 13?!?! Sure 4 of them are toilets and showers, but still!!! That's 8 rooms I won't be using! It's times like this I wish we had a granny flat so I wouldn't be feeling so overwhelmed right now HAHA. But I'm sure I'll muddle through.

I cried saying bye to mummy this morning ='[ This is the first time I've been by myself with all of them out of the country. Sure I've got Bill, Andrea, Mandy, Tass, Bill, Linda and Flavia if I really needed all within a 15 minute drive, and my aunty only out at McDowall, but still I feeling a little bit lonely ='[ -snuggles Mushy-

Anyway I have to go get ready for work, and no doubt this blog with become a testament to my adventures of my family being out of the country, so this could be fun.

Peace, cuddles and a little bit of loneliness,
xoxo
PS. I JUST REMEMBERED! My aunty's up at Ipswich doing the V8s so I don't have her...

The Moulin Rouge, tax, face off and sickness;

2009-08-20T01:38:00.000-07:00

The greatest thing you'll ever learn,
Is just to love and be loved in return~

Ahh Moulin Rouge, how can you not love that movie?
It's comedic, it's romantic, it's forlorn, it's tragic. Baz Lurhmann is truly a genius. I mean ach his movies just kinda suck you in ya know? I have that box set they brought out of his three most acclaimed movies [not including Australia]. I love it. It has Moulin Rouge [Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman], Romeo & Juliet [Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio] and of course, Strictly Ballroom. Now I will admit that Strictly Ballroom I didn't enjoy that much, but Romeo & Juliet and Moulin Rouge I am simply in love with. Two of the greatest movies ever in my opinion =]

I need more movies actually. I've officially watched pretty much all of mine 3 or 4 times over, and am slightly bored with them. But first I need a new DVD stacker, cause the one I have not I now have to stack DVDs on the floor cause there are no more slots left. I've been meaning to get down to the furniture shop that's local here, but I never had either the money or the time.

I actually got my tax money today, or part of it =] $600!!! -dances- I've locked away $100 into seperate slots in my wallet to be counted as "emergency money", meaning if I get stranded somewhere, or just see something I desperately want, but have no funding in my bank, I draw on it :P I'm helping boost the economy! Yay me~! But yes so realistically I have $500. And I've decided that as my clothes that have had an excellent life start to fall apart on me, it is time for a new wardrobe [sorry new computer, you'll have to wait]. I also really need new work shoes haha. The ones I have now I have dubbed my "holey shoes" cause of how worn out they are :P

I only ever buy clothing and shoes etc. if I really need it, like I have to dress up or different for an occasion, or my wardrobe is dying on me. I'm fairly good this way, although it could also just be because I really do not like going clothes shopping for myself unless it's necessary. I am just so un-female in that regard. Although Paul should count himself lucky for it :P

He wants to come clothes shopping with me this time around you know, which I think will probably be a make or break experience for us both xD If he is honestly able to handle how I get when I DO go clothes shopping then we'll be able to handle anything else xD I get a bit crazy when I go clothes shopping. I fall in love with everything and it takes me a very long time to work out what I really want/need and what can wait until the next time I have money.

City Chic will make a fortune out of me I swear. It's the only clothes shop I go to cause it's actually targeted at the larger women. I first discovered it with Mum when I was shopping for a formal dress. Yes that is where I got my formal dress from =] That was two years ago this November or whenever our formal was and ever since then, both mum and I have been in love with the place.

I've decided recently that I love skirts and need more of them, whereas a few years ago I refused to be caught dead in one, and as a result the only ones I own are for special occasions. Like there's one that I used to wear to work but before that I wore it to the Bounty Day Ball on Norfolk Island. And there's the other one I have which I wore actually on Bounty Day. Fun times. I fell in love with it cause it's actually got that torn appearance and I figured you know, convicts landing, their women's skirts would most likely be torn from all the wear and tear of being on a boat haha.

But yes I need a new pair of jeans, new shirts, it's probably too early to be buying shorts as well but I will need them for summer, more skirts, and maybe a pretty dress or something. I've become such a girl the past couple of years xD Like I said I've grown accustomed to skirts, I've been through a phase where all I wanted to wear was dresses, and that is a big thing for me cause I used to hate them. I've also decided that I'm going to marry high heels and boots.

I blame my mother :P She's introduced me to the fun side to being a girl whereas I only saw things like dressing up and waxing and blah as a complete chore before hehehe. I've posted previously about my latest eyebrow waxing adventure xD

What was I saying? Oh yes, clothes shopping. I'd love to get it done before the 29th of August, cause I'm having people over for games and things and I think it would be fun to have new clothes to wear hehe. I'm such a sucker for this kind of thing now :P

I can't wait for the games/talking/movies/party fun night hey. I hope it'll all work out. I worry so much that I've forgotten little things haha

cont. 9pm...

I just got back from doing a massage and I'm now eating my dinner I picked up at Red Rooter [Rooster] while watching 20 to 1. Tonight it's Love & Laughter hehe. It just showed Shakespeare in Love. It's such and amazing movie. I love it n_n I'm now officially planning to track it down and buy it on my next DVD splurge :P

Anyway bubby's sick ='[ I miss him so much, but hopefully he's better by Saturday so I can see him =3

Well I got nothing more to rant about hehe.

Peace, love, and a piece of schnitzel
<3
xo

"Face Off" and the Ekka;

2009-08-14T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday Paul and I went to the Ekka =D

It was our two month anni. too so it was cool timing haha

Anyway after a lot of kerfuffle including shaving the boyo's back (I cringed cause I've never had to use electric hair clippers before and he wanted me to fix up the little mullet that his mum had left him too :S) and making chicken rolls, at about 12pm we were finally ready to go xD

So we car dashed Mario Kart style to Burpengary station, and we realistically arrived about 5 minutes before the next train was due to come so we did well =D

But anyway we got to the station and claimed a seat on the train, playing Mario Party on our DS' on the way in to amuse ourselves xD

Anyway about an hour later and one train change we arrived at the exhibition station and wormed our way in through the oh so many people -sarcastic- xD

We went and saw all the cows first cause you know they were right there xD They were all cute and then somehow we found ourselves meandering through the copper place and the government place etc (we got given two pears for free by some guy with a green bag haha, we didn't trust them xD) and after a whole lot of walking around and seeing things and Paul winning a pillow thingy, we went to the Energex arena to have lunch (the chicken roll thingys that I'd whacked together that morning, a lot of fun with cling wrap ensued making those I can tell you haha) and watch the pretty ponies do their show jumping =D

Then after that we went to the baby animals place and saw all the baby sheepies (SO CUTE! n_n) and then we went to Sideshow Alley, and just walked around there for a while haha. Now by this time we were feeling a bit tired so we agreed to do the obligatory walkthrough the Showbag Pavilion and bought lots of things.

Then we left and I had fun bulldozing people to get a seat cause you know between us we had like 10 showbags (including the Bertie Beetle ones) and a couple of them were backpack ones haha. The fun fight was with the people at central haha. Cause there were lots of people waiting at that station but I still managed to get us both a seat xD Yay me! All those months of wrestling people for seats getting to and from uni has really paid off!!! =D

But anyway we came home and I had a nap cause I really was exhausted haha. I woke up about 6/7:30ish hahaha. Had dinner, we watched Mash and examined out showbags for a few hours or so and then I went home and to bed haha.

Now today I woke up at roughly 8am to get ready to go to work, only to be told while I'm in the middle of my shower that I don't actually have to go to work at all, and if I could please stay home with my sister and her friend. So you know being the opportunist that I am, I stayed home xD

I watched Red vs. Blue and Family Guy all day while taking and photoshopping pictures for this "Face Off" that Jayne and Emma started.

Basically it's something these two lovely friends of mine has started up, where they pic a subject and then take a pic to that subject and edit it as best as they can. It is SO much fun hehe. I had to do a catch-up photo as well as the current topic cause I've come into it halfway through so here are my two pics I did today:

"Gamer face"

"prostitute Waluigi face"

It was fun =D

Anyway this is where I'll leave you xD

Peace

Hangman, needles and administration;

2009-08-11T21:42:00.000-07:00

So I had a fun day today...

Had to get up at 5:55am to go to college, which is the usual although I'll be so epically glad when it's over, it takes me about half an hour to get ready, and I have to leave at 6:35am to be at the station by 6:52am (yes I am this precise with my travel times, I like to be prepared), but hey, I'm 100% on time, but I've forgotten one small detail. THE TRAINS ARE ON WEEKEND TIMES!!!! So the train is actually pulling up as I'm entering the car park, so I just have to sit there and wait for like half an hour for the next one. Thank gawd I had my lovely DS (well it's Paul's. I do have one, but the screen flippy thingy is broken on it so I borrowed his spare one) to entertain me with my R4.

R4s are amazing. I have like 100 games on the thing. But I only really play four or six of them xD Three Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney games, Mario Party DS, Mario Kart DS, and occasionally I play brain training. Everyone should have one of these things. It's like, a gaming necessity. Can you sense the not so subliminal messages??

Anyway back to my crazy day. Anyway cause I had to wait the extra half hour for the next train I was naturally late to college. But that's okay cause when I got into the classroom it was right after Darren (who's always late but a great lecturer, good fun) so I wasn't too fussed. And there were only two other people there when we got in xD Three more people came later though.

So for the first 20 minutes or something we just sat around and talked. Then I jokingly mentioned hangman and then Darren just took it literally, passing me the whiteboard marker, and so the next hour's entertainment began. Of course Darren had to open the can of worms that triggered the dirty version of hangman, meaning that words like porno and boner came to the fore. It was quite hilarious.

Then after that Kertu asked Darren for some cupping, and then it escalated from there, cause then Ross got cupping, I got needled with acupuncture, Michael got cupping AND acupuncture. And while I had needles in my hand and arm Stacey and I were going through our phones and sending Darren songs that we decided he needed (his bluetooth is on auto-accept, it was great).

Then after 3 hours of that we all went and got lunch. Then it was time to come back to do Structural Alignment (the class before was Advanced Deep Tissue by the way), only to watch Darren treat a stranger for a few minutes, then have him declare that since we were going to just be doing nothing again the entire time, that we could go home.

Oh and my college's administration is so bad. They claimed to be there today, but absolutely noone showed up, so I couldn't do my exams today that I studied for all night. P.O.'d.

So I walked back to the station, planning on heading home. The train ride to Central was pretty average, but trying to get home on the Caboolture train, and for some reason it was 10 minutes late, and then a bit of a freak out over the screens going nuts and taking the train I wanted off the screens, but then it was magically back there about 5 minutes later. I had to deal with all the people leaving the EKKA though.

I saw all the pieces going to the races, they were so pretty =[ I wanna go to the races and play dress up =[ I was really jealous of them haha. I want pretty dresses!!

Missing Paul like crazy, it's only been 2 days. Sad huh?

I've been watching Scrubs all afternoon hahaha It's so entertaining. But now I think I'll go play me some Diablo II.

Catch yas later,

Peace
xo

But anyway I'm home and safe and oh so tired right now. Might go to bed soon.

I forgot to talk about this xD

2009-08-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

I completely forgot!! This evening mother and I had fun with hot wax trying to do my long overdue eyebrows, and oh em gee, she was going for my eyebrow and some of it dripped onto my eye!!!!!!!!!! I luckily closed my eye in time, so I'm stuck with this glob of hot wax on my eyelashes, and mum's using her special dissolve-y stuff and trying to pull it off and I'm whining constantly cause it hurts and we both can't stop laughing how eyebrow waxing never goes smoothly for me (last time she ripped half of one eyebrow off!!!!).

Moral of the story kids, get it done by pros xD

Peace
xo

PS. I still have all my eyelashes

Life is trial by fire, love is the sweetest tase;

2009-08-11T05:20:00.000-07:00

One Safe Place ~ Marc Cohn.

How many roads you've travelled...
How many dreams you've chased...
Across sand and sky and gravel...
Looking for one safe place.

I am so much in love with that song at the moment. It's quiet and kind of sad, but at the same time just so uplifting you know? No I don't suppose you do, not until you've heard it haha.
Youtube that stuff. It's amazing. I guarantee that you will fall in love almost immediately.

Another amazing song is Collide ~ Howie Day. I keep hearing these songs in movies and T.V. shows (One Safe Place was in House, and Collide I'm pretty sure was in The Perfect Man, you know, the Hilary Duff movie? It had Heather Locklear in it.)

Well now we've talked about music, what else can I yammer on about in this thing xD I love blogging. It's like endless ranting rights. xD

I have two exams for college tomorrow. That's right, even a Diploma of Remedial Massage person has to do exams. It's unjust I tell you!!! But luckily these exams are mind-numbingly easy. So much so that the two I'm doing tomorrow are being done 2 weeks early haha. But that's for a whole different reason.

You see, my parents are going away for two weeks with my siblings to a little place I like to call "Kiwi Town". That's right they're going to New Zealand. I'm endlessly jealous that I am unable to join them, but with my own mini financial crisis at the moment (seriously, I don't know how I'm managing to afford anything...my insurance was just due and now my phone bill is too), I was unable to raise the funds to pay for my plane ticket there. The same ticket that mother dear is willing to pay for the other two midgets, but noooo. Big sister gotta pay her own way! I mean just cause she was the only child born there doesn't mean anything right?? Ach but I'm being bitter.

I'm really quite excited. I'll be practically home alone except for the temporary replacement manager (who lives in Mt. Gravatt), who shall be staying with me on weeknights so she doesn't have such a big commute every morning to be at work by 8:30am. I'm rarely ever on time as it is and I swear that the days I am my parents have an aneurysm. It's funny cause mother dear looks all shocked and doesn't stop (jokingly) looking at her watch until it's no longer 8:30.

But I digress. As it stands I'll only ever really be home alone on weekends, for I assume the replacement manager shall go running home to her family for the weekend since she misses out on them during the week. Not that I care, between working Saturday mornings with Deb, catching up on cancelled massage hours from the past week, and seeing friends and the boyfriend, I shall be one busy bee. I relish the opportunity =3

I really truly cannot wait. I've been having to cook for myself for a while now, but I just haven't been, due to lack of enthusiam, caused by increased pressure. I swear I am such a male at times. All I want to do when I come home is just chill out in front of the T.V. or laptop and have my meals cooked for me xD How bad is that?! I do love cooking, I'm just not a) very good and b) lack the energy or desire for it. Except when I'm cooking with Paul. Last time we cooked tea I took over >_<"

Paul is the boyfriend by the way =3 I'd say more, but since I'll be putting the link in my msn P.M. he'd probably look at this and get embarrassed. He's so cute like that n___n
~ cute
~ funny
~ loving
~ entertaining
~ cuddly
~ caring (same as loving?)
~ nerdy
There. I embarrassed him anyway xD Just a few of the things I love about him =D He's awesome n__n It's a shame he and my best friend don't get on. But I do know both sides of the back story and it's perfectly understandable. So I just smile and say "yes dear" when he starts talking about it, cause I learnt that just doing that is the quickest way to change him to happier topics.

Thankfully my friend is understanding that I'm dating him. At first she was like "OH MY GOD WHY?!?!?!?!" but she's said that as long as she doesn't have to be around him then it's fine. Which is working out pretty well so far. It still makes me sad sometimes though.

I love my friends. I seriously think I would have died a long time ago if I didn't have them. They're the craziest, most diverse group of people you could ever find, and it's hilarious watching them all get along, cause any outsider, if they looked at their individual personalities would look at us and go "how the hell is that group still friends??". And it's true, we've all had our ups and downs, but we always pull through for each other when the other is in need. A majority of us have known each other since we first started high school at Northpine Christian College all those years ago. Can you believe it's been almost 7 years guys?? Sure a few of you drifted into our lives a year or two or three later but at least it's still 4 years of friendship! That's no small feat by anyone's standards. I love you guys heaps and hope that no matter where life takes us, we'll always be friends forever.

It's on that note that I leave for tonight, have to be up at roughly 6am tomorrow morning to be at college by 8:30am. There's that same damn time again haha.

Peace
xo