I got sunburnt yesterday, while playing in the pool with Paul and Eevari. It was fun. I actually didn't notice the burn until later that night. Actually Paul was the one who pointed it out -thinking face-
Anyway that's hardly the point. Tonight I had a bath to try and take some of the sting out of it, and in the end I was so hungry (hadn't had dinner yet, and this is at like 9pm) that I was feeling generally like crap so I dragged myself out and downstairs to go get some food (greek yoghurt yumm).
So I'm just happily eating away, watching Good News Week on the T.V. in the room adjacent when Mum asks me what my brother could possibly do for his neck, as he hurt it at training tonight. Now, given the location and time frame since the injury, I told him to do the one thing that I could at the current point in time.
Now in hindsight I could have asked a couple more questions like what did you do, where is it specifically, etc, but reality is, I'm not a doctor. I'm a freaking massage therapist who had to have an advanced knowledge of anatomy cause of all those damned Anatomy & Physiology classes. But I digress.
So I tell him to ice it. For 20 minutes, twice a day, for the next 3 days. That's all I can do with a fresh injury, and then Mum just starts going apeshit at me. Things like "you give nothing back!" and "why do I bother paying you're school fees? I'll just take him to a fucking doctor!" were said. And that post-bath relaxed high I had going? Gone. All thanks to my mother thinking I know everything and can work it all out.
In the end? He didn't end up icing it. He's just gone to put on PJs apparently, or go to bed, one of the two. I just saw him come down the stairs so either he's gone to whinge about his neck or he isn't going to bed yet. And also now Mum's shitty at me cause she thinks I don't do anything, when in reality I just did the one thing that I could considering how recent he hurt it. Oh but of course she didn't listen to me when I said that.
I really hate fighting, and I hate feeling like I'm useless cause I've done all I can and it's just not enough. I hate that my mother thinks that since I've started studying this I'm some sort of superhuman who knows where it's sore through intuition and knowing what the most common injuries are.
So right now I'm feeling kind of down, cause pretty much all I heard from Mum's little tirade at me was "you're useless, why did I bother paying for you to study there?" You can imagine how great that makes me feel...
Fighting's pointless isn't it? All it is is angry words that half the time you don't even mean, and the other half is you forcing your thoughts onto someone without listening to theirs in return. I've had enough fighting in my life, between what happened a couple of weeks ago and my mother being so gorram hot-headed. (Yes, gorram. Watch Firefly, you'll understand then).
I don't want to fight anymore, but I know that it's just inevitable because you could be the sweetest person in the world, and yet eventually you'll clash with someone. It could be over something completely trivial, or some big belief that you are willing to martyr yourself for, point is you will clash. You don't know if it'll be with a stranger, or your best friend, but it will happen.
Angry words. Hurtful words. Words designed to make the other person feel like absolute shit. That's all a fight is. I wish I lived in my happy place where there were no fights, no stress and the world didn't revolve around money. I actually sometimes wish that we lived back in the old days where we didn't just press a button and get what we want, but then I'm a complete hypocrite cause I look at my PS2 and my DVD player and can't help but think that I'd die without them.
How weird would it be to live in the times when there were blood feuds? And I don't mean Romeo and Juliet crap, I mean real blood feuds. Where two people (or families) despise each other so much that they do anything possible to ruin the other. That would be such a horrible time.
Anyway, I've rambled on too much. I'm pretty tired already from my bath and the one-sided arguement with Mum didn't help my mood at all. I might go watch some Code Geass or Strawberry Panic! to cheer me up. Ooo maybe Digimon =D We were watching that while floating in the pool yesterday. I forgot how cute they were.
Peace
<3